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Looking back at my Bipolar past

Sad-ballerina

I have been doing some reflecting on my past, prior to treatment to getting into treatment and the years of counseling, doctor appointments and medicines. I have to say there were many years that were rocky at best especially prior to treatment, when I had no idea what was wrong and why I was such a bitch sometimes. There is no other way to put it sorry!

I remember that lost lonely, angry, sad, hopeless feeling that I had day after day after day. The out of control emotions, the anger, the screaming (for no reason), the abuse I put my family through (verbal).

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Coping with the Bipolar Roller Coaster of Moods

I wrote a post earlier today, Moods, A Roller Coaster of Life, and I got to thinking…I didn’t mention any of the things I do to cope with these changes.

There isn’t a lot you can do other than dig up patience and warn people around you.  I usually just tell my loved ones I’m not feeling well right now so they know there are changes happening and I hope they don’t take anything personally. Sometimes I get distant or opinionated or just plain crabby and not as nice as usual, normally people think I am mad at them for no reason so if I warn them then that happens less. I am very open about my issues with mental illness with my friends and family, I find it important they know. I do know some people won’t accept it like others but I really don’t care if they do or not, I owe it to the people I love to keep them appraised. If they don’t like it then they move on and so do I.

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Just Starting on Medication and Managing your Doctor Appointments

This post is based off a questions one of my readers posed, when I asked if there was anything anyone would like me to discuss. I really enjoy these posts as I can share what I learned over the years of therapy and doctors etc.

The questions is:

I’ve just decided to start getting medication. Do you have recommendations on managing my doctors so that I get what I want out of this experience?

Keep in mind I can only answer this or any question off my experience. I am not a doctor or a therapist.

A Patient Meeting with Therapist

Image courtesy of Ambro / FreeDigitalPhotos.net 

When I first started seeing a psychiatrist I had no clue what I was doing. I was relying on him to remember me, and the medicines we had tried and not tried. Boy was I wrong, this first guy couldn’t keep me straight and I noticed he didn’t pull a file or anything when I came for my visits he didn’t take notes etc. If this happens to you I suggest you think carefully about changing doctors. Red Flag!  This taught me that I needed to take a bit more control of my appointments.

I began to research depression, as that was the major symptom, along with rage and mood swings. The doctor was smart enough to mention Bipolar II. I went online read and read and searched and read. I went to bipolar chat rooms, and different sites that were set up to support people with mental illness.I didn’t do much talking in those chat rooms but I did a lot of observing conversation and learning what others were going through and what medicines they were taking. Then I would research the medicines a bit and gather even more information. In the chat rooms they talked a lot about the side effects of certain medications and that was really helpful.

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Addictions and Mental Health

I’m sure it is no secret that a lot of people with addiction issues also have co-occurring mental illness.  There is a good amount of time that we are using drugs or alcohol or even tobacco to help control our mental illness symptoms and survive daily life.  People will self medicate with drugs, alcohol and tobacco without even knowing it.

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Update on the New Neighbor…

Hi everyone! I’m sure you remember me sharing that I have a new neighbor that is super friendly but I had a feeling he had some troubles and in talking to him he does and was fearing he may be Bipolar or have a mental illness of some form.Image of a Boy Blowing Bubble

We have talked a lot and he has shared a very troubling life. He has been through a lot from a young age and honestly I told him he may just have a lot of baggage he needs to deal with and therapy would likely help him. He is waiting for his insurance from his new job to kick in then he says he will go for help once again. He has seen doctors and therapist before but has not had insurance for a while.

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