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Encouragement and Inspiration

Inspirational-stones

I started this blog to share my life experiences with Bipolar Disorder and my journey to happiness. Today I had a great inspirational friend send me an email telling me that she has decided to share her story in the same ‘real’ way I have. To put it all out there and take that risk that others will not support her and may not understand.

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Self Monitoring, Can you over do it?

stressed-woman

I am a firm believer that it is my full time job to self monitor. Meaning I need to know what is going on with me at all times, any changes must be noted. But do they really?  Should we just have a few things we are looking for? If we over monitor do we obsess? Do we cause symptoms by over monitoring ourselves? Does it increase our stress?

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Time for a Bipolar Update

If you have read my other posts you know that I have been in a deep depression for a while now.It took me a while to realize it but I finally did and had posted a couple times about it. It is time again to update you on how things are going and how I am dealing with it.

Since I just published a post about my taking on a new blog, I am sure some of you are wondering if I am in a manic or hypo-manic state. The answer to that would be Yes. When I came out of the depression I headed directly into hypo-mania. Actually a bit of it overlapped each other, I was taking on loads of  new stuff, started a new blog, and even more at home while still feeling depressed. Then I came out of the depression fully and popped right into Hypo-mania. 

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I Can’t Stop…. busy busy

Over worked and stressed

 

I realized there is an additional side affect of me being depressed and not resting. I seem to also overload myself. I am sure you have noticed all the posting of giveaways and blogger opportunities. Yep if it is a free link I sign up for it. lol  I do this when I am hypo-manic as well as when I am depressed. I feel blank and I just keep taking on things, helping others and huge amount of giveaways for others.

I am so going to be overwhelmed in a few short days but I can’t stop signing up for things. I go to Facebook blogger groups I am part of and I will see a giveaway open for bloggers to join and I argue with myself. You have too much going on now, you are not going to sign up for another one, this blog is not meant to be a blog full of giveaways, and I leave the page then soon I find myself back there filling out forms. :-(

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When did you last sleep through the night?

Woman sleeping at her desk

Image courtesy of Ambro / FreeDigitalPhotos.net 

I have written recently about being in a depressed mode, but what comes along with that the longer it stays is; No sleep. Now don’t get me wrong I go to bed every night about the same time but I wake up every few minutes through out the night and roll around and around until I can’t take it any more and I get up. Today it was at 3 am that I couldn’t fall back to sleep even for a few minutes, but that didn’t stop me from rolling around in bed attempting to sleep for nearly an hour. I don’t know about you but that seems to be worse than just getting up. :)  I’m determined though. :)

There are two stages of moods that cause me to be unable to rest. The first is the depression, anytime I am truly depressed

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Depression with Bipolar II Disorder

Dark Cloud of depression with sunlight breaking through

♥♥♥♥  I added a couple things after I posted! 

Today I was realizing how depressed I am feeling. Woke up dragging and I have that feeling in the pit of my stomach. That feeling is not my friend. I thought I would share a bit about my depression battles, the effects and well anything else I throw in. Usually it is a mixed pot with me and my posts, very much like me! :-)

Depression.. What can I say, for me I always have a level of depression happening with in me. I work daily to overcome it and when it is at its weakest I can live with it without much effort. When days like today come, I just want to cry, the feeling of anxiety in the pit of my stomach,

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Coping with the Bipolar Roller Coaster of Moods

I wrote a post earlier today, Moods, A Roller Coaster of Life, and I got to thinking…I didn’t mention any of the things I do to cope with these changes.

There isn’t a lot you can do other than dig up patience and warn people around you.  I usually just tell my loved ones I’m not feeling well right now so they know there are changes happening and I hope they don’t take anything personally. Sometimes I get distant or opinionated or just plain crabby and not as nice as usual, normally people think I am mad at them for no reason so if I warn them then that happens less. I am very open about my issues with mental illness with my friends and family, I find it important they know. I do know some people won’t accept it like others but I really don’t care if they do or not, I owe it to the people I love to keep them appraised. If they don’t like it then they move on and so do I.

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Moods, A Roller Coaster of Life

Hi Everyone!!! Just here today to talk a bit about Moods and how quickly they can alter with Bipolar or Bipolar II.

Faces of Moods

Moods!

I am Bipolar II per my diagnosis many years back now, I tend to rapid cycle which if you don’t know what that means here goes my best description; In any given moment my mood can change for the better or worse and sometimes where others don’t even notice it but I never miss it as most of the mood shifts are internal. Your mind races and your moods do the same. One  moment you are depressed and having that lonely dark feeling and the next your cracking jokes and dancing around playing with your kids, then you can loose that feeling and depression kicks back in or maybe anger, frustration kick in. Sometimes a mood can last days, or moments you never really know and don’t always spot it either.

Lately, for me, I am back on the rapid cycle roller coaster, and I dislike it very much. My already disorganized life just gets

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Supporting Loved One’s with Bipolar Disorder by Naomi Esterly

This is a guest post from Naomi Esterly, I am pleased to have her guest post on my blog today. 

BIO:  Naomi Esterly is a mother of two boys, a baby girl and a wife to an army man. She may appear like she’s got her hands full but she tries to find time to volunteer in her community center and write freelance for companies like 1800WheelChair.Com. In this guest post she talks about supporting family members dealing with bipolar disorder.

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Several million people are affected by the serious mental illness called Bipolar disorder. While bipolar disorder, a condition that is characterized by extreme mood swings that range from mania to depression, is most common in teenagers and young adults it can strike people of all ages. Those who suffer from bipolar disorder experience a myriad of emotions, which can be stressful to themselves as well as those around them. Often times, people distance themselves from loved ones who suffer from bipolar disorder simply because they aren’t aware of ways to cope with the illness. However, with the proper knowledge and education, I have discovered that it is possible to learn positive ways to live with those suffering from the illness. I’ve been able to learn about the positive ways to deal with bipolar disorder through raising my son, Jacob, who is now 20 years old and currently able to live a reasonably normal life despite the illness, thanks to many of the positive coping mechanisms we’ve learned together throughout the years.

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Bipolar Disorder Helpful Information

The Human Brain

I have been looking around the Internet and wondering exactly what is out there today for those that may need help, whether it be getting a diagnosis or the important Learning about your illness. I went information seeking this morning, I found a few good sites with great links so I am putting together a post to make it easy to find these great links.

First I found a page of links for many different countries and that was at International Bipolar Foundation. Here there are many links to needed information and services. Click here to go to the page with the links.

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Support Your Charity or Cause with Wristbands

Wristbands.net Swirled Color Filled Bracelets

Do you support a charity or a specific cause? Do you want to raise awareness or  sell bracelets to be able to donate to the cause? Do I have the site for you, wristbands.net. Here you can create the wristbands yourself, you can choose size, text, font, and colors as well as different types of printing. There is a 3D Creator to help you design just the right wristband for your cause.

For example this month is Breast Cancer Awareness month. You can purchase bracelets with breast cancer awareness on them and resell them at a higher rate and then donate the money to breast cancer research.This site has one million bands in stock, over 2000 colors to choose from, and a state of the art 3D creator to help you design and create your wristbands.

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A Bipolar Mind is Having a Hard Time Adjusting

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A Bipolar Mind and the heat, along with adjustment

Image courtesy of digitalart / FreeDigitalPhotos.net 

“Adjusting to what?” You Say. Moving to a new home! Ever since we moved two weeks ago I wake up several times a night for no apparent reason, just to look down the hallway. Did I think this would happen?  Yep sure did.  Did I expect it to continue for 2 weeks or more? Nope sure didn’t.

So my already sluggish mind over all the stress in finding a place and buying it is now exhausted, worn out and ready for some good sleep. I truly thought I would be sleeping by now, the kids have slept like logs ever since we moved in but not me.

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Mental Illness and Family Support or Lack of it

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Image of When yoiu need something to believe in start with YOURSELFI have spoken to and listened to a lot of people as of late that have NO support from their families in their diagnosis of Mental illness. At first I couldn’t believe it, then I realized I too was one of those that didn’t have the support of my close family, husband especially.

Let me explain; I was in my early 30′s when I realized just how miserable and out of control I was and that it wasn’t me. Something was wrong. I set out on the path of looking for help. My husband was annoyed by this and this is when our relationship really began to crumble. I was no longer seeing my mother because she caused some real problems for me where being happy was concerned. I saw my father infrequently. My husband got increasingly annoyed with the time I was spending learning about my illness and how I had submerged myself in what I had to do to stop the madness. He wasn’t happy with me getting better but at the time I thought it was just jealousy that he wasn’t getting enough attention. As it turned out my ex is a victim of life, a victim of anything that happens to anyone, everything is about him. Well if I got better that wouldn’t fit his purpose in life. He gave absolutely no support and harassed me about counseling, made fun of me and even blamed everything on me and my illness. I kept going for my girls. 

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Blogoversary?

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Holy cow! I was just reminded by a very dear friend, Sonya over at LeanOnUs.co, that this week the 27th of September is officially Bipolar2Happiness’ 1 year Blogoversary. You should go check out her post on the LeanOnUs blog.

What a great year it has been. I have met a ton of awesome amazing new friends. I have received support to a level I never could have imagined. I am truly blessed by everyone who has visited my blog. There have been ups and downs and some really quiet times for me, especially lately, but every interaction I have with my new friends brings meaning to my life.

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My Bipolar Mind and Change

Image of the word stress and a 3d character

We are moving!

I am sure if you follow me on any of the social networks you will see my posts about moving! I am very very excited to be moving to our own place. The kids will have their own rooms and are ecstatic about that fact. I am happy we will all be able to get away from one another a bit more. The new place is quite a bit bigger so we won’t be tripping over each other all the time.

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School starting, Bone Spurs and Moving

Image of a couple carrying moving boxes

Yep that’s right school, Bone Spurs and Moving is most of what is going on right now. This bipolar brain is not doing well with the bone spurs in BOTH my ankles. My feet are swelling, when I get up in the morning I can barely walk due to the pain in my ankles at the Achilles tendon area and we are moving mid September.

School has started for my youngest, she loves it but I am not happy about her Algebra class and the way they are choosing to teach it or not teach it depending on how you look at it. It is what they are calling a Flipped Classroom. Meaning the teacher is not teaching them in the class the kids are watching lessons online at home to learn and doing homework in the class. If you are thinking anything like I was it was “wtf?”  I send the kid to school to be taught not expecting her to teach herself at home via the one computer we have. Do I have a choice though?  Nope, there is no other class it is this or change schools. She is in 8th grade and I find it really unfair they would do this with no notice to the parents and with no other option, but whatever we are stuck with it.  They won’t like me and my bipolar mind visiting them if her grade drops this year. :)

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Disappointment, Pissy Mood, Wine and a Bipolar Mind

First off I want to note that if you are on psychiatric medicines drinking is a no no, we all know it undoes the benefits of our medication but we also know we will give in once in a while. For me that was yesterday. After I felt really disappointed and was really pissy about it the entire day. One of those moods that being bipolar makes worse, you know you are pissy but can’t stop yourself. All day I was like that and poor Carl just laughed at me.image of angry emotionguy

I dislike myself very much when I am like that and can’t keep my mouth shut. If I see someone do something stupid I can’t help but tell them. Thankfully we didn’t go into any crowds I think Carl knew it wasn’t a good idea.. I did yell at one guy though.. lol  That uncontrollable pissiness is related to the Bipolar part of me. Fully uncontrollable!! My youngest daughter thinks its hilarious when I am like that because I kind of yell at people with humor.. hard to explain. We laughed all day but I was super pissy and couldn’t control it. It wouldn’t go away!

When people in my life disappointment like my father, who has spent my life disappointing me, I really get pissy. I can’t sleep well and get tired and it just makes it worse. Even laughing at my pissy attitude the whole day didn’t pull me out of it at all.

So then I have this conversation with the very person who has just majorly upset me and disappointed me after drinking almost a whole bottle of wine. Wine makes me talk and can’t shut up and after last night I know it makes me say exactly what I am thinking. A curse or a blessing in disguise?? Im still not sure!!

Moral of the story… Don’t drink and then talk to a family member that has just disappointed you and put you in a mood. It may or may not turn out well!! heehee

Image: FreeDigitalPhotos.net

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