This is a guest post from Bob Brotchie at Anglia Counseling. I am honored that he has allowed me to share this post with you all. I hope you enjoy it and remember if you need help, counseling, there is no shame in reaching out. If you would like to see more from Bob click the link in the title and it will go to his blog or see the links at the bottom of the post.
By Bob Brotchie/Anglia Counseling
We all recognise fear and I’m sure we can all describe the thoughts and emotions associated with fear.
There is a healthy fear of course. The ‘fight or flight’ (or become immobile) state when we are threatened by a risk of harm, emotional or physical and which is natural, short living, brief onset (acute) and can be moved away from in reasonable time.
Unhealthy fear however is more pervasive in our lives and comes from less evolved patterns of living. They may be long lasting (chronic), and exist through a lack of trust in a situation, of others, and ourselves and consist of worries around our health, finances, security, relationships at home or work or our performance in any area.
Heck, sometimes if we are briefly free of a particular worry and fear we will seek one out, such a habit being a victim of fear becomes.
Living in fear can become the default way of living…or should we say, existing!
To regain a balance we need to take a little more care.
Consider reflecting on what we were fearful of this time last year, last month or last week.
Can you even remember?
Are you really living today, in the here and now? Because if you do, you cannot be anywhere else! (This takes practice – see Mindfulness)
Identify your main repetitive fear, write it down, and ask what the reality of your fear becoming realised is. What would happen then (if it were likely) and would you be able to live beyond this?
Remind yourself what you have. Count your blessings. If you have a physical ailment, focus on the parts of your body that serve you well! If you have an emotional or mental health challenge, what do you have that is enjoyable here.
If its finances, consider what you need, and what you simply ‘want’. There really is a huge difference. That’s not to say that your financial situation may not be dire, but really think about what the genuine worst outcome will be.
Look in the mirror and try to ‘see’ you!
This takes courage. Really, really look at yourself and ask, “Who do I see”?
If you ‘see’ your position at work or in the community, then maybe you have too much invested in that.
Can you find a positive from what may be concerning you? This is something we can do and whilst being realistic too! If I have a health scare, it’s a great time to find the re-assurance of knowledge around that issue; or perhaps changing the way we live to be more healthy – that would be a reasonable positive out of a ‘negative’ situation.
If you are finding yourself more frequently anxious, please seek help. There are alternatives to thinking and feeling this way!
Bob Brotchie – Owner & Counsellor t: +44 (0)1638 563 222