Family Drama and Unnecessary BS…

You have probably experienced some of the same Family Drama I do but today really took the cake!  I’m sorry this will be a rant!!

My brother asks me to come to lunch with him yesterday, first red flag!  I agreed as I love to spend some time with him but thought something was up. We live close by and never see each other.

Backing up a bit.. Until a couple of years ago I did not see my mother. She was banned from my life due to her ‘drama’. She makes everything a stressful situation and pits all our family members against each other. I know your thinking how is that possible, believe me it is.

Back to current day… My brother says to me, “I have a reason for wanting to have lunch today, something I need to talk to you about.” I said, “I thought there was something, whats up?”

This was me!

He tells me that my mother has told my father that I am calling her asking her to move in with me because I need her money to make my bills each month.  “What???”  I shriek

More back ground… my mother has used my gas card for 18 months and she has not been paying the bill, I have. The balance was at $1200.00 7 months ago, she had given me the $1200.00 to pay it off. I don’t remember why, but  I put $600.00 on the gas card and used the other $600.00.  She told me that she was quitting her job that required her to drive so many miles and was costing so much in gas. Well she didn’t quit the job, and has now run the bill up to $2000.00 which is the limit on the card.  She lives on Social Security so her income is VERY limited. I’m living on Disability so my income is VERY limited  and I have two teenage kids to care for, therefore my father helps us out with money when I need it.

Back to my conversation with my brother… He says, my mother is telling my father that she has paid off  this gas card twice in the last year both times at $2000.00 and that I have not paid the card and done something else with the money, she doesn’t know what and she is still paying on the card. Really and where did she get that  money to pay it off and if she had money why would she need to use the card, is my question. She was working a sales job that was commission ONLY and never sold anything so she never got paid.

My dad tells my brother and his wife this at Christmas and they were shocked. They knew that was not true. They knew she was not paying the monthly payment and that she had given me the $1200.00 and what I had done with it. They also know that she has run the bill up and is not paying it.  My dad says he isn’t sure he should help me out with money as I’m not handling my money properly! They attempted to explain to my dad, who knows my mother rarely tells the truth, that she is lying. He believes her and is upset about it.  Thankfully I am open book people close to me know me and know I would never do what she is saying..

Don’t get me wrong… my father is not obligated to help me and I appreciate every bit of help he gives me. I do not expect him to help me.  I have struggled since my divorce and rarely make my bills, partly because  I must have medicine and psychiatric treatment and so do BOTH my girls. It’s just ridiculously expensive here and I can’t find any work at home jobs to supplement my income.

I am upset that I let my mother back into my life after 6 years of not seeing her and she has done nothing but caused issues, drama and stress for me, my father and my brother. She doesn’t see my brother’s family for the same reason she didn’t see mine, but my brother still talks to her. My father is angry that I even let my mother use my gas card and I can’t believe she told him the lies she did.

I am disappointed! You wonder, Why is she doing this?? Because she wants me to live with her to help us both pay the bills.  She is attempting to alienate me and my father so he won’t help me and I won’t have a choice but to live with her. I won’t live with her as I have to keep my stress down and that is not possible with her, everything is stressful with her. She creates problems where there aren’t any and it’s because our family is full of  mental illness and people who are in denial and won’t get treatment. My mother is at the top of that list.

My dad was concerned about her coming between him and I when she first came back into my life,  she is now going through him to drive us apart. Unfortunately he can’t see it because he still loves her. They have been divorced since I was three but he never remarried only had a couple of relationships and is now alone and plans to stay that way.

I don’t want him to think I have lied to him or taken advantage of him! I want him to know I appreciate everything he does for us! He thinks I am taking advantage of everyone and taking money from her when she has none that frustrates me.

I’m so over it!!


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12 Responses

  1. How awful! I find it hard to understand how people can be so selfish and nasty, only out for their own ends. I just don’t get it!

    • I know right… its amazing to me what that woman does, honestly it so frustrating! I decided a long time ago i will never understand her but really she is cutting off her nose to spite her face. Thanks for the comment and for reading my rant.. lol Have a great day!

      • Tell her no way would you want to live with her. Ansd cut financial ties between you.

        • No I wont live with her she thinks if she makes it necessary that I will but it will never happen.. Dont worry those cuts are coming just letting my brother do some talking to my dad first before she is tipped off and gets to him again.. Im so over it!!

  2. OMG ! i still amazes me the lengths some people will go to to manipulate others, but they cant seem to see that what they are doing effects others :-( if you havent already, take the cardc back ! Hope it works out xx

    • That’s exactly what I thought too.. lol The lengths some people will go to to get what they want with no consideration for others is amazing and when its your Mother well its disgusting to me and always has been… but she hasnt changed! My mistake for trusting her at all.. I am going to call the company and tell them the card was lost and to issue a new one and cancel the other.. that way I don’t have to deal with her… Surprise it doesn’t work!

  3. I understand about a mothers manipulation. I have had that situation with my mother for years only with different drama. I pray something will happen to change things between you and your mother. It’s hard I know, when there is mental illness rampant in your family but no one can see it but you. Hang in there if you can.

    • Thank you.. I have tried everything with her and so has my brother to get her to get help and straighten her life out but she wont do and never will… its her choice. It is also my choice if she is in my life or not. It’s sad but it is what it is and I have to protect me and the girls.. she isnt good for any of us! Thank you Im hanging on as good as I can!! I appreciate your comment!

  4. Yoofatgump

    Kick her in the nuts then throw her off a bridge or something

  5. I always say, get the negative people out of your life. My family was also full of unnecessary drama UNTIL — I said ENOUGH and moved 1500 miles away, got an unlisted number and only keep in touch with the positive ones. They talk about me, but I can’t hear them. :)

    • Yep that’s a good way to deal with it.. I was hoping if i let her back in after 6 yrs she may have done some changing but she hadn’t and here we are right where we were before.. Love her but cant take her negativity…

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