Relationships

The Parenting of Teens, Drama

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I love my two girls, both teens, they are special people. They are kind to others and loving beings but the teenage know it all, you don’t understand bologna is getting to me. I noticed a big change in my older daughter when she turned 16. She got her license and is doing well with the driving, but her attitude, wow, way out of line all the time. I know she has no clue what she is doing or saying to me and her sister but she can really make you feel badly. She plays the guilt game rather well and I spent last night eating until I went to bed because her and I got into a fight, I was telling her to stop being so nasty all the time. I know over eating isn’t helping either of us, but it is what I do!

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Romantic Presents for Couples

Guest Post provided by Becky W.

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Image courtesy of Surachai / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

 For couples, buying gifts for the holidays, for birthdays, or for any other special occasion can be very difficult. You may know your partner better than anyone else in the world, but that doesn’t make the whole process any easier. Truth be told, it can be amazingly difficult to encapsulate your feelings for your special someone with a gift.

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Mental Illness and Family Support or Lack of it

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Image of When yoiu need something to believe in start with YOURSELFI have spoken to and listened to a lot of people as of late that have NO support from their families in their diagnosis of Mental illness. At first I couldn’t believe it, then I realized I too was one of those that didn’t have the support of my close family, husband especially.

Let me explain; I was in my early 30′s when I realized just how miserable and out of control I was and that it wasn’t me. Something was wrong. I set out on the path of looking for help. My husband was annoyed by this and this is when our relationship really began to crumble. I was no longer seeing my mother because she caused some real problems for me where being happy was concerned. I saw my father infrequently. My husband got increasingly annoyed with the time I was spending learning about my illness and how I had submerged myself in what I had to do to stop the madness. He wasn’t happy with me getting better but at the time I thought it was just jealousy that he wasn’t getting enough attention. As it turned out my ex is a victim of life, a victim of anything that happens to anyone, everything is about him. Well if I got better that wouldn’t fit his purpose in life. He gave absolutely no support and harassed me about counseling, made fun of me and even blamed everything on me and my illness. I kept going for my girls. 

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Disappointment, Pissy Mood, Wine and a Bipolar Mind

First off I want to note that if you are on psychiatric medicines drinking is a no no, we all know it undoes the benefits of our medication but we also know we will give in once in a while. For me that was yesterday. After I felt really disappointed and was really pissy about it the entire day. One of those moods that being bipolar makes worse, you know you are pissy but can’t stop yourself. All day I was like that and poor Carl just laughed at me.image of angry emotionguy

I dislike myself very much when I am like that and can’t keep my mouth shut. If I see someone do something stupid I can’t help but tell them. Thankfully we didn’t go into any crowds I think Carl knew it wasn’t a good idea.. I did yell at one guy though.. lol  That uncontrollable pissiness is related to the Bipolar part of me. Fully uncontrollable!! My youngest daughter thinks its hilarious when I am like that because I kind of yell at people with humor.. hard to explain. We laughed all day but I was super pissy and couldn’t control it. It wouldn’t go away!

When people in my life disappointment like my father, who has spent my life disappointing me, I really get pissy. I can’t sleep well and get tired and it just makes it worse. Even laughing at my pissy attitude the whole day didn’t pull me out of it at all.

So then I have this conversation with the very person who has just majorly upset me and disappointed me after drinking almost a whole bottle of wine. Wine makes me talk and can’t shut up and after last night I know it makes me say exactly what I am thinking. A curse or a blessing in disguise?? Im still not sure!!

Moral of the story… Don’t drink and then talk to a family member that has just disappointed you and put you in a mood. It may or may not turn out well!! heehee

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My Birthday and Mother’s Day… How Do I Feel?

This weekend was my 43rd birthday and the following day was Image of tulips beautiful Mother’s Day! Two very special days in a row for me. This year is probably the best one I have ever had. I am blessed by the people in my life.

I have great friends who gave me a nice party and dinner, Carl took me to a special dinner of Lobster, shrimp and Scallops, my dad took us all out to dinner, my girls spent the entire weekend with me, my youngest did all the dishes and wiped all the counters down in the kitchen and helped to clean up the house, I got terrific gifts… All my online blogging buddies and friends were very sweet to me with all the good wishes. I can’t believe how many terrific caring people I have in my life.

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I Miss Them Already…

My kids just left for an entire week… Yep a week!! I miss them already. I have a ton to do so it won’t be that I will be bored but I will miss them tremendously.

You know, my oldest and her father barely talk but she decided to go with him to another state for a week to see a house he bought there.  I was shocked but excited too. I sure hope all goes well and everyone behaves, she needs her dad.  Please send positive thoughts to them and hope they heal their relationship.  I think this will either make or break the future relationship between Sami and her Dad.

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How does your music affect your moods?

From a young age I recognized, by watching my mother, that music has a big affect on your moods. I remember my mother being very depressed and she listened to country music. Now back then country was nothing but who left who and who cheated on who and who’s heart was broken by who. She had many many rocky relationships I think the worst one was with herself. I remember when I was just a child I said to her, “No wonder your sad all the time, the music you listen to is sad and unhappy and talking about everything that can go wrong in life.” She stopped in her tracks and I said, “Seriously mom pick a better more uplifting music, make an effort to remove those feelings from your life.” She was shocked but what I said made sense.

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Friday Update…

Wow! Happy Friday everyone!! 

This week went really fast and I didn’t get as much accomplished as I would have liked.  I started the week happy and getting things accomplished until I got news of another death in my extended family.  I don’t know about you guys but that is one thing that makes me hit rock bottom with my depression and I can’t say my mood has been pleasant either.  Sorry to my kids who take the brunt of it. I try so hard to think before I speak but there was a day this week that I really felt bad chewing my daughter out for her attitude! 

So since Tuesday evening  I have been feeling down and my mind has been very cloudy, energy level is low, I’m not sleeping well, I am napping during the day, I’m very emotional, accomplishing little, and well I am happy it’s the weekend because I usually take time on the weekend from the blogs and the website to recoup and I am hoping I can start next week on a different note.  Well lets say that is the plan, no more moping!!  It is also St. Patrick’s day so Ladies I have put in a pic of a sexy St. Patrick’s Day Man, really I thought it was a funny picture… LOL  ♣

I have had to adjust my medicine again to see if it will help me pull out of this before I get too depressed. My life is good and you all help me see that every day.  Your support has been amazing and I do my best to show that support back. 

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Another Loss…

I received a call yesterday that a family friend had passed away unexpectedly. Unfortunately, this is the husband of the woman I spoke of in an earlier post Losing Someone.  She passed away just a few short weeks ago of cancer and now her husband has passed away suddenly.

This family was extended family for me, I have known them since I was 3 yrs old and have been friends with their daughter, Bonnie, since then.  Bonnie and I haven’t talked in a couple years because she lives in another state and we have lost touch.  I am so worried about her and her sister!! The loss of both parents in such a short time has to be over overwhelmingly devastating!  

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My New Community

Hey everyone!! I have joined The Blog Frog and now have a community of my own and I have embedded it on my site under the tab My Community in the navigation!  There is a forum and such that we can all communicate on!

I have put a link in this to it but I would love for you to join us at The Blog Frog and participate in our community!  I would love to get to know you all better and interact more!

Leave me a comment as to what you think of this idea and the community!

Thank you

Shauna 

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Update on the New Neighbor…

Hi everyone! I’m sure you remember me sharing that I have a new neighbor that is super friendly but I had a feeling he had some troubles and in talking to him he does and was fearing he may be Bipolar or have a mental illness of some form.Image of a Boy Blowing Bubble

We have talked a lot and he has shared a very troubling life. He has been through a lot from a young age and honestly I told him he may just have a lot of baggage he needs to deal with and therapy would likely help him. He is waiting for his insurance from his new job to kick in then he says he will go for help once again. He has seen doctors and therapist before but has not had insurance for a while.

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Im Baaaack… No more days off

Hello Everyone! Well I’m back.. Lots to catch up on so I will be working hard to get all up to date.

We had a great visit with Carl and his parents, I met his sister! They are all great people and we really enjoyed being away and visiting with everyone! It is nice to be around a close family, mine are not close and we are all uncomfortable around each other.

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Missing in action for 4 days!

Hi Everyone!  I just wanted to post to you that I will be gone from today 02/17/12 till Monday 02/20/12. This kids and I are headed out of town to spend some time with Carl’s Parents and see where they live.  It is about a 5 hour drive so we wont be back till later Monday.

I may also be semi missing on Tuesday 02/21/12 as its Carl’s Birthday!

Don’t want any of you to be wondering if I feel off the face of the earth or worry at all we are off having fun.  We rarely go any where but we are off today!

Everyone have a great weekend, I will see you all next week!

 

Shauna

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Do you believe in Psychic Abilities?

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I thought it might be fun to see what you all think of Psychic abilities.  I have looked into a specific ability and that is Clairsentience or Clairsentient! A reader suggested to me that my Empathy issue could be a gift I am not aware of. Now I have always considered empathy a gift, but is there more to it? I’m always a curious gal so here we are looking it up. 

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Valentines Day…Means What to you?

I want to wish everyone, who isn’t bothered by Valentines Day. a Happy Valentines Day.  I think we all have a different out look on this particular holiday.  So I’m hoping you will share some thoughts with me and my other readers.

I was talking to Carl last night and he says guys just fret it and have to remember to do something special and are happy when its over.   I cracked up.  Guys is it really that big a deal? If you are just doing it because you have to why do you feed into it at all?Image of a chocolate heart

Image: m_bartosch / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

I enjoy Valentines day but not all the commercial bologna behind it. I don’t care if you get me a card or flowers or anything really. I gratefully accept chocolate but that’s year round.  No need to wait for a specified day for that!

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Losing Someone…

This is an area I have always had a difficult time with, the loss of someone I care about. I am a highly sensitive and emotional person, not to speak of moody. LOL So when there is a death near me or I am in the presence of someone that has recently lost a loved one, I can not contain my emotions.

I got news today that a woman, I thought of as a mother for years, has lost her battle with cancer. She has been ill for a long time and due to circumstances with a family member I have not seen her for several years. I see on Face book today that she has passed. I was hurt and saddened because my friend that I have known since I was three, her daughter, hadn’t even let me know she was doing so badly.  I wish I could have seen her to tell her how much she meant to me when she was there for me as a mom. I think she knows how important she was to me but I wish I could have thanked her one more time.

I feel so badly for her girls and her husband. This has been a long battle for her and them. Her family must be devastated to lose her but they know she is no longer in pain and in a better place. It was her time to go.

Shirley was a warm, loving woman who did a lot of others. When I was a teenager and struggling with my relationship with my mom, Shirley was there for me. I even lived at their house for a period of time when I had no where else to go. She kept me going and helped me to move forward in my life, something you can never repay! For years she really was Mom to me, I called her mom number 2. She was supportive to everyone in her life and really gave to people.  She will be missed by many who loved her.

Rest in Peace Shirley! I love you! You will be missed!

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Her 13th Birthday…

Where did the time go, how did my baby get to be 13 already. No Image of a girl with a cake and presentway it has been 13 years since the day she was born into this world and became the love of my life! 

Ugh well it seems it has been 13 years and she has grown into a beautiful, caring thoughtful young lady!  She has her struggles with the depression and anxiety but under it all she is a lovely young lady! She will help you with anything on a moments notice, she loves to be part of everything. She is happy and funny, almost all the time.  Sure she has a ‘teenage’ attitude but she is supposed to at this point. When you point it out and tell her it is not acceptable she stops and apologizes most of the time. 

Her grades are good and she has a ton of friends. She loves each one of them for who they are! She is a social butterfly! She loves to go off-roading with her Dad and drives the cars around the desert. She is fearless and loving all at once! Unfortunately, the fearless part keeps her injuring herself but so far not too seriously!   She is a frequent fly-er at the Urgent Care, they know her well! 

Most of all she still likes to cuddle on the couch and watch television and I get to lay in bed with her sometimes before she goes to sleep. She will always be my baby, no matter how old she gets! 

So here is to you Jessi, Happy 13th Birthday! May every year bring you Love, Happiness and Joy!! 

I love you!

 

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Reaching Out, Taking Chances…

I want to share a recent experience I have had, with a new neighbor! First, I must explain that I have had some problems with people here and really haven’t been friendly with anyone since moving in almost 2 years ago! The apartments are set up to where you see each other all the time but still no real interaction until now. :)

Over this past weekend a new person moved into the apartment directly next door to me. Our doors actually open up into each other so you can’t come and go at the same time. Sometimes its comical, especially when your neighbors aren’t friendly.  I went to leave the other day and bumped into my new neighbor.  He is a single dad with two girls and a very friendly person.  I immediately got the feeling he was having a hard time emotionally. I didn’t say anything at that time just introduced Carl and ran out! Image of a hand shake on a new day

The next day he came by and said Hi and we were talking a bit and it came out that he was having a hard time. I asked him if he wanted to come in and chat but he didn.t want to at that time and said he would explain another time why.  We talked a bit more at the door but something really made me want to reach out to him, but I didn’t want to push. I made it clear to him that I was around if he needed anything. 

The next day he pops up again and we got to chatting and he kinda spilled some stuff about having concerns that he might be bipolar.  Of course before he said that I had told him I didn’t work and he asked why and being me I told him the truth.  He said he was really interested in talking more about it but I had to leave so I talked with him for a bit and then I had to run off.  I really get the feeling he needs some support, just friendly support.  

I really took a chance telling a brand new neighbor about my illness but I dont keep it quiet. If I did I would be making the stigma that surrounds mental illness worse so I take these chances and times like these it pays off.  I really do want to help people understand mental illness and help them be brave enough to get real help. This man is worried about his mental status and has lost many jobs over his mood swings etc.  He needs someone to talk to about this to help him sort things out and I think that fate put him next door to me so I could help him out.  

We talked a bit again tonight and he wants to talk more another time so I just told him anytime he wants to chat to knock on the door or if its open to call in to me.  He said you might be the best person for me right now! I’m not sure I agree but I can listen and tell him what I have been through.

It is sometimes frightening to take that type of chance but if we continue to hide our illness and allow people to shame us the stigma will never change.  We must be brave and confident in the decisions to reach out to people!! 

Now go reach out to someone, even if it is just a friendly hello it might change their entire day! 

 

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