My Birthday and Mother’s Day… How Do I Feel?

 Grateful, Happiness, Heart Felt, Mother's Day, Relationships, Thankful  2 Responses »
May 132012
 

This weekend was my 43rd birthday and the following day was Image of tulips beautiful Mother’s Day! Two very special days in a row for me. This year is probably the best one I have ever had. I am blessed by the people in my life.

I have great friends who gave me a nice party and dinner, Carl took me to a special dinner of Lobster, shrimp and Scallops, my dad took us all out to dinner, my girls spent the entire weekend with me, my youngest did all the dishes and wiped all the counters down in the kitchen and helped to clean up the house, I got terrific gifts… All my online blogging buddies and friends were very sweet to me with all the good wishes. I can’t believe how many terrific caring people I have in my life. Continue reading »

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These Past Few Weeks…

 Bipolar disorder, Depression, Happiness, Mental Health  No Responses »
Apr 302012
 

Image of 3D Character next to the word stress in red

I have been reporting to you on my having an episode of depression and a bit of Hypo-mania. What I haven’t shared is just how busy I have been these last 6 weeks or so. Well I have and haven’t so today I am going to talk about how I allow myself to get committed to too many things at once and put way too much pressure on myself and then have these different episodes with moods. Continue reading »

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How does your music affect your moods?

 Happiness, Mental Health, Random Thoughts, Relationships  5 Responses »
Apr 012012
 

From a young age I recognized, by watching my mother, that music has a big affect on your moods. I remember my mother being very depressed and she listened to country music. Now back then country was nothing but who left who and who cheated on who and who’s heart was broken by who. She had many many rocky relationships I think the worst one was with herself. I remember when I was just a child I said to her, “No wonder your sad all the time, the music you listen to is sad and unhappy and talking about everything that can go wrong in life.” She stopped in her tracks and I said, “Seriously mom pick a better more uplifting music, make an effort to remove those feelings from your life.” She was shocked but what I said made sense. Continue reading »

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Our Weekend!

 Happiness, Mental Health  No Responses »
Mar 262012
 

Hello everyone!

I had a great weekend this weekend. Both my girls were with me for the weekend and that was really nice. I don’t get enough time with my youngest she spends a lot of time with her dad.  So when she is with us we have a great time. We feel whole again!

On Saturday we went to the Fishing and Boat show with Carl. It was fun just getting out and wandering through all the stuff.  Not exciting but it was nice, I love to watch people sometimes.  Then we went to lunch and got a great sandwich at this little deli we like down by the beach. They have the best sandwiches. Anyway we ran into Carl’s son and his girlfriend at the sandwich shop so we visited with them for a bit. Did lots of walking today, it was great! Continue reading »

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Good News for Me!!

 Happiness, Hope/Inspiration  6 Responses »
Mar 232012
 

I have some good news… Finally some good news!

I got a call from my old boss and he tells me he talked to another Agent (State Farm insurance agent) and he is needing a part time person to fill in one day a week or two days a week and would I be interested? Of course my answer is yes!!  So he says OK I talked to him about you a bit and will email him and give him your number.

Well yesterday he called me and he was really nice. I was completely honest with him about why I haven’t worked and that I have to keep my stress down so I cant work a full time job but a part time job would be perfect especially one day a week.  I tried to explain as much as possible about my illness and how controlled it is and he asked what medicine I take and I told him. He asked if I take Lithium and I explained that I have never taken anything that strong.  I am Bipolar II so my symptoms to this date have never required Lithium.  He says his wife was a counselor so she will probably know more about my illness.

So Monday at 11am I have an interview with him and his wife and it seemed promising. Its perfect for me as I can do what I am trained to do and do it part time enough that I should be good to go.  Then I would be able to lighten up on the monetizing the blog a bit.

I’m so excited please wish me luck!!

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A Blog That Got Me Thinking!

 Happiness, Learning  2 Responses »
Mar 072012
 

I just read this blog that I follow and I love what the post is about.  The blog is Hexpatriate and the post is called Tomorrow Can Wait, Accept Today.

I think we can all relate to this on some level. Some of us more than others, there are times its not easy to accept our circumstances, but accepting them makes it so much easier and you so much happier.

I ask you to please go read this post and follow this blog if you so choose!

May you all have a blessed week of sunshine and happiness!!

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Newly Licensed Driver…

 Happiness, Mental Health  4 Responses »
Mar 052012
 

Woohoo!! Sami passed her behind the wheel driving test and is now officially licensed to drive!!! I’m so excited for her.

She said to me as we walked out of the DMV, “I feel so accomplished.” and she laughed.

Very big happy day for our household. She didn’t even get nervous she fended off the Anxiety and just did what she needed to do.  She is a great driver and I am so proud of her.

Way to go Sami, now can you run to the store for me??  LOL Hmmm what other errands can she do for me?? Hee Hee

Have a great day everyone!!

 

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Update on the New Neighbor…

 Happiness, Mental Health, Relationships, Thankful  3 Responses »
Feb 242012
 

Hi everyone! I’m sure you remember me sharing that I have a new neighbor that is super friendly but I had a feeling he had some troubles and in talking to him he does and was fearing he may be Bipolar or have a mental illness of some form.Image of a Boy Blowing Bubble

We have talked a lot and he has shared a very troubling life. He has been through a lot from a young age and honestly I told him he may just have a lot of baggage he needs to deal with and therapy would likely help him. He is waiting for his insurance from his new job to kick in then he says he will go for help once again. He has seen doctors and therapist before but has not had insurance for a while. Continue reading »

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Missing in action for 4 days!

 Happiness, Relationships  2 Responses »
Feb 172012
 

Hi Everyone!  I just wanted to post to you that I will be gone from today 02/17/12 till Monday 02/20/12. This kids and I are headed out of town to spend some time with Carl’s Parents and see where they live.  It is about a 5 hour drive so we wont be back till later Monday.

I may also be semi missing on Tuesday 02/21/12 as its Carl’s Birthday!

Don’t want any of you to be wondering if I feel off the face of the earth or worry at all we are off having fun.  We rarely go any where but we are off today!

Everyone have a great weekend, I will see you all next week!

 

Shauna Feeling Good

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Her 13th Birthday…

 Grateful, Happiness, Relationships  No Responses »
Feb 082012
 

Where did the time go, how did my baby get to be 13 already. No Image of a girl with a cake and presentway it has been 13 years since the day she was born into this world and became the love of my life! 

Ugh well it seems it has been 13 years and she has grown into a beautiful, caring thoughtful young lady!  She has her struggles with the depression and anxiety but under it all she is a lovely young lady! She will help you with anything on a moments notice, she loves to be part of everything. She is happy and funny, almost all the time.  Sure she has a ‘teenage’ attitude but she is supposed to at this point. When you point it out and tell her it is not acceptable she stops and apologizes most of the time. Wink

Her grades are good and she has a ton of friends. She loves each one of them for who they are! She is a social butterfly! She loves to go off-roading with her Dad and drives the cars around the desert. She is fearless and loving all at once! Unfortunately, the fearless part keeps her injuring herself but so far not too seriously! Cool  She is a frequent fly-er at the Urgent Care, they know her well! Surprised

Most of all she still likes to cuddle on the couch and watch television and I get to lay in bed with her sometimes before she goes to sleep. She will always be my baby, no matter how old she gets! Smile

So here is to you Jessi, Happy 13th Birthday! May every year bring you Love, Happiness and Joy!! 

I love you!

 

Image: digitalart / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

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Packing, Moving and Boat Show?

 Happiness, Relationships, Thankful  4 Responses »
Jan 292012
 

Wow had an exhausting and Fun weekend!! 

Image of moving boxesMy mom decided to move which you already know if you read some of my other posts. She is living out-of-town and caring for an elderly woman, which she is really good at, has compassion for elderly people.  She came in town thursday evening, and Friday morning, my oldest daughter and I went to start helping her pack.  We had Friday and Saturday to pack and load the trailer. Sunday my brother was coming to drive the trailer out to her new place and unload it.  My mom has a ton of stuff so it was quite a job but we did it, also with the help of my Youngest daughter and then Carl came Saturday afternoon and absolutely rescued us. He helped us move the heavier items like the washer and dryer etc. He is my Hero on so many levels. :) We were so tired that it would have taken us forever to get it all done. 

Even tho packing was hard work and we are all exhausted it was nice to spend two straight days with my girls. Image of Yachts

Today, Sunday we went to the boat show!  My first boat show by the way! I was in awe of some of these boats, and Yachts! They were huge and gorgeous, with every option you can imagine.  Gorgeous is the only word that fits.  It was a beautiful warm sunny San Diego day! Being on the water looking at these boats was an amazing experience Carl was mesmerized by the boats and he wants one so badly!  I know he will eventually have one but he wants to buy a house first.  After the boat show we went to eat at a restaurant called Joe’s Crab Shack, some of you may know it!! 

I love doing this stuff with Carl, it’s so nice to be experiencing different things in town!! I have lived my entire life here and not ever been to a boat show!  Being so comfortable with Carl really lets me appreciate the things we do together. :)  

Most of the shadows of this life are caused by our standing in our own sunshine.
~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Image: Danilo Rizzuti / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image: Salvatore Vuono / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

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Psych Appointment….

 Bipolar 2, Happiness, Mental Health, Thankful  4 Responses »
Jan 202012
 

I have not posted about my appointments with my doctor before so this is kind of new for me. Just a couple of thoughts I will share today about my appointment with Dr. S.

I dropped the kids off today and ran off to the doctor immediately as my appointments with him are early morning.  Dr. S has two offices one local to me and one a bit far and the one in my area he works in the morning the other in the afternoon.  

It was funny talking to him today because he says how happy he is with how I’m doing and then says you were such a MESS, while shaking his head.  He is actually happy for me and almost giddy. Let me explain something about him… He is a gruff guy, he isn’t personable at all, he keeps his distance and is very business like which some people find odd.  I have always liked him, you can tell he knows what he is doing, and truly even though he is gruff you can see he cares.  Other family members who have met him didn’t take to him the same.  :)  To see Dr. S nearly giddy and giggling about how well I am in comparison to the mess I was 10 yrs ago was a good moment for me.  

This doctor has saved us so much misery I can’t even tell you.  It’s good to see him happy with me. :)  Now, finding out my insurance didn’t pay for June’s and October’s appointment was not fun. Even though I paid the co pays at the time, today I had to shell out $260.00 to get up to date and I could only do that because my tax return is waiting to be deposited on my account and will be in there on Tuesday.  Thank goodness!

It is really hard to believe how miserable I was all that time ago and it is nice to share with Dr. S our accomplishment of straightening me out and helping me be happy!

What a great man to dedicate his life to helping the mentally ill stabilize and do their best! I am Thankful we found him and he can help us the way he has, but I am sad my kids cannot see him any longer.

There is still no resolution to the issues I have with the HMO, they of course have not called me yet and probably won’t. Next week I will be making some calls and laying into someone.  Not looking forward to that… :(  Oh well I must fight for the kids.  :) 

Image of Inspirational stones

To find what you seek in the road of life,
the best proverb of all is that which says:
“Leave no stone unturned.”
~Edward Bulwer Lytton

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Inspiration

 Happiness, Heart Felt  11 Responses »
Jan 102012
 

I decided to take a suggestion from a friend at a site called A Band Of Wives, which I am a member of, and post some more inspirational thoughts. Today I decided to pull a few Saying and quotes and post a few pictures. Thanks Leila! 

The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart. ~ Helen Keller 

image of sun coming through a tree in winter

“All our dreams can come true – if we have the courage to pursue them.” ~Walt Disney~


Image of Inspirational stones

Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear.
~ James Neil Hollingworth

Image Rushing River

If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s,
we’d most likely run to grab ours back.
~ 90 yr old Regina Bennett

Image of couple with sky in background, jumping - happiness

“Real happiness comes from inside. Nobody can give it to you.”
~Sharon Stone~

Image of Gateway to the past

Nothing is predestined: The obstacles of your past can become the gateways that lead to new beginnings.

Thank you for visiting today!! :D

Shauna xxx 

Image Tree in Snow Image: Marcus74id / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image Inspirational stones Image: Photography by BJWOK / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image Rushing River Image: Maggie Smith / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image Couple Jumping Image: Tanatat / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image Gateway to the past Image: prozac1 / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

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An Excellent Weekend

 Happiness  4 Responses »
Jan 082012
 

I have whined so much lately I thought I would share my weekend with you all… 

I had a great weekend. Saturday my oldest daughter went to her friend’s house for the day my youngest is at her dads for the weekend so I had alone time with Carl. A rare occasion! 

I got up in the morning and went for a hike/walk with Carl.. Then home to shower and get cleaned up hung out with Carl for an hour or so. We then went to a movie, Sherlock Holmes, not the usual movie I would watch but I really enjoyed the movie. Maybe because I was with Carl I don’t know! Before the movie we got a plate of food from our favorite place in the mall. We shared it so we sat and ate then we walked around until it was time to go into the movie. Got some popcorn and went in. 

I have had such a good time getting to know Carl. He really is a special guy! He is sweet to me and I love it! 

Today Sunday, my daughter and I went down to clean my dads house for him while he was out-of-town, so it would be clean for him when he returned. Did some laundry while we were there too!  Then we went by a Wing place, got some buffalo style chicken strips, took it home and pigged out! We laughed and joked around the entire day its was really an enjoyable day with her.  I love my girl she is such a special kid.  I can’t believe she is 16 already. :(  … :)

She had some homework to do so I went over to Carl’s and hung out with him. It’s so nice that he is beginning to open up more and tell me about his life.  He has been unsure if he should, I guess he has been out with some real insecure women in the past and has not been sure what to expect from me.  I feel that life is too short for insecurity and jealousy of someone’s past. His past has made him who he is now and I really enjoy him so that makes me thankful for his past experiences! 

It’s hard to imagine that through the 7 months of unstable moods and different energy he has not wavered in seeing me.  He accepts me for who I am and I the same with him. I worry when I’m not feeling well that it might be too much for him to take.  My swirling bipolar mind and my nonstop talking and rambling on doesn’t seem to bother him. He kind of seems to understand it!  

He told me when we started dating that he would wear on me in 6 months and I would get tired of him. Tonight I said, ” wow Carl it has been a really long 6 months, he looked at me perplexed… I said, “remember you said you would wear on me in 6 months but that hasn’t happened yet.” He responded, “yeah well if we spent anymore time together it would happen.” I was surprised and said to him, “why do you think that way?”  He says, “I just do.” so I let it be but I hate that he feels badly about himself.  He is a great guy! Funny thing is we spend time together every day I’m not sure we could spend more time together… lol

Oh by the way we have dated since September 2010! :)

In conclusion… I had a great weekend between the time spent with Carl and with my daughter. It was such a fun, simple, relaxing weekend. After the BS with my family it was great to really have a nice couple days. 

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Happy New Year ♥

 Happiness, Hope/Inspiration, Mental Health  22 Responses »
Jan 012012
 

Happy New Year Everyone!!  I hope your New Years eve was fun and that everyone is safe. 

This is the first day of the New Year and its going to be a fantastic  year!! 2012 Here we come!  I have received some exceptional  support from perfect strangers this year and I just want to say now  to all those strangers who have become friends Thank You for  being you!! 

As you all know I became Partner on a Website called  LeanOnUs.co in August. Since that date we have worked tirelessly  to get it off the ground and we have received support that is  immeasurable! We have made many new friends on many new sites  and learned a ton from you all and trial and error.. :)  We have  added over 100 pages to our site and in September I began this  blog and personally received support I am sincerely Thankful for. 

My goal in life at this time is to be happy and to aid others in any way I can, this is what brings me happiness!  Helping others in whatever little way I can, brings me peace and purpose! I hope that I can repay the support I have received in 2011 with the same support given out in 2012!

May your Year bring you fulfillment and happiness beyond any expectations! 

Wishing you Love and Happiness!  Hugs xxx 

Credits: 

Image: jscreationzs / FreeDigitalPhotos.net - jscreationzs‘s portfolio is:

http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/images/view_photog.php?photogid=1152

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A Sweet 16 for a sweet girl…

 Happiness, Heart Felt  6 Responses »
Dec 292011
 

My first-born child turns 16 years old tomorrow, December 30th 2011.  Birthday cake

I can hardly believe it, she has grown into this terrific young woman. She is smart, thoughtful and beautiful in every way. Her talents are amazing and I’m so very proud of her!

As you know she has had some seriously hurtful issues with her father and they are still unresolved, but she carries on like a true Champ!  She has a party tomorrow evening that her grandfather is paying for, he got her a limo and is taking her to a restaurant with her friends for dinner then cruising afterward.

She has a hard time accepting nice gestures from men but she was so appreciative when my dad offered to do this for her 16th birthday, she told him he had to ride in the limo with her and her friends and must have dinner with them all.  Her grandfather is so excited about it he is like a kid…

This is the first real birthday party she has had in years and never has had a party on her actual birthday due to it falling during the holidays!  Anyway, Im super excited and Hope my baby had a great birthday!

Happy Birthday Samantha, I love you more than I can say!! You deserve the best! 

My beautiful girl, My first born!

This is Samantha many years ago!! :)

 

 

 

 

 

 

Birthday cake Image: digitalart / FreeDigitalPhotos.net - digitalart‘s portfolio is:

http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/images/view_photog.php?photogid=2280

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Our Week Long Visitor…

 Broken Hearted, Happiness, Mental Health, Relationships  4 Responses »
Dec 262011
 

♥♥Just some thoughts I will share… 

I found out fathers day of 2006 my husband was cheating on me… long story short after several months I realized we couldn’t stay together, and I moved out! 

Many years have gone by and I didn’t date any one till September 2010 when Carl asked me out!  He always seemed like a nice man and I didn’t hesitate to go out with him.  He used to be my neighbor at my first apartment but we never really spoke and didn’t get to know each other.  

We have had a night here and there where he stayed over but the week before Christmas this year he stayed over the entire week because his parents were in town and staying at his house. He wanted them to be comfortable so he stayed here with us. 

Anyway… I really enjoyed him being here… Its been such a long time since we have had a man in the house.  Certainly was an adjustment for the kids as being all girls in the house they tend to walk around half-naked all the time.  lol :)  

Carl just fits in so nicely.. We do embarrass him sometimes with the way we talk but he always laughs and we all got along really well.  It’s nice that the kids really like him and are as comfortable with him as I am.

 I just remember being devastated that my husband was cheating and that our life together was over, I was lost and broken…Carl was always friendly even when I was not and  was in my own little world of misery. I never realized Carl had any interest in me and went on oblivious until years later when he approached me.  His timing couldn’t have been better because even tho my ex and I split in 2006 we didn’t divorce till 2009 and it was 2 days before I went to court for the first time and Carl asked me out! It was the boost I needed and I was ready for it at that point. 

Our relationship has been easy so far and I know it wont always be that way and I really have no idea where it’s going but I like it the way it is and was really happy to have him close to me this past week.  He is a special guy and I hope that he is happy with me too!! 

This is just another way of giving you all hope… I spent 17 years with my ex and I felt like my life was over but it really has just begun and Carl has shown me that!!  Remember, what you put out you get back.. Choose to be happy and happiness will come to you… 

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Family Drama and The Holidays…

 Grateful, Happiness, Heart Felt, Mental Health  12 Responses »
Dec 232011
 

Happy Holidays Everyone! 

I just wanted to say to everyone, Happy Holidays and may the new year bringHappy Holidays to all!! you joy and happiness beyond belief! 

I have thought lately and I realize how stressful the holidays are for almost everyone. Some of us have a harder time with it as the extra money spent and the extra stress of the rush can really get to us.  I lately have had a few moody moments that have surprised me but I think we all need to slow down and realize the Holidays are about family, love and being together, it’s not the gifts or the food it’s really connecting with those we love.

Unfortunately, that also comes with Family Drama!! Our family has quite the Drama filled holidays usually and its pretty stressful. I am making the choice this year to just enjoy it, drama and all!! 

We have been invited to go with Carl (my Boyfriend) to his families for this holiday and I am pretty excited to meet some of his family.  They do not live locally so I haven’t met anyone but his parents and obviously his son! It kind of tells me a bit how he feels about us not that I doubt he cares. He is a great guy full of love, giving heart and I truly enjoy the time we spend together. 

This years holidays are truly special for me and I plan on enjoying every minute of it.  I just have to choose to be happy no matter what is going on around me and I don’t have to react to the drama I can just giggle and leave it at that .. Several deep breaths and some wine should help with that.. haha :)  

May your heart be filled with love and joy always! 

Image: duron123 / FreeDigitalPhotos.net Portfolio at http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/images/view_photog.php?photogid=3506

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