Anxiety

Update on My Anxiety Filled Daughter

Happy-teenagerI wrote a couple posts recently outlining the issues my daughter was having with Anxiety. If you want to read the whole story start with Bipolar Disorder and Anxiety in a Teen, then read Anxiety Please Go Away, My Poor Daughter, this is the final update on her saga.

We finally got the doctor to listen and they gave her a new medicine (One I also take) Lamictal. Unfortunately she has taken trileptal for more than 8 years and they told her to stop it cold turkey. Now I knew that was strange but these are doctors right? NO don’t ever fall into that trap. You cannot stop taking Psychiatric medicines without weening off them or you will have serious withdraw symptoms. Certainly not a medicine you have take for 8 years. Yep the bells went off that isn’t right but did I listen to them, Nope.

So we start the new medicine and halt the other one, and what happened? My poor daughter got really ill, she was ill for days and we knew it was the trileptal leaving her system. She was over heating, nauseous,exhausted and unable to sleep at all. So did I call the doctor that had enough brains to tell me to stop the meds all together, heck no. I put her back on half a dose of the trileptal and continued the new medicine, with in a week or so she was feeling better. The anxiety and the feeling of being ill left her. Now when I say “left her” I mean it is tolerable. We all know if you have anxiety you have symptoms no matter what medicine you are on but they are tolerable.

I have my daughter back. She is happy, joking, smiling again and I am so relieved. It took some time but each day things seem to get easier for her. She had been very negative and crabby for months on end and I told the doctor on more than one occasion that her anxiety was increasing and she wasn’t doing well. She has bipolar and well moods shift and the meds either work or they don’t. They are now all at work again so we are relieved.

I will continue to ween her off the trileptal, later this week we will try a quarter of a pill instead of half and if that goes well hopefully in a few more weeks we can take her off it all together. I will not increase the dose of Lamictal at this time as the 12.5 mg she is taking seems to be doing enough for her. I don’t want her over medicated.

I am thankful that I am able to treat my girls for the symptoms that went untreated in me and I am proud of them for working through the problems I didn’t even know or understand at their age.  I just wish we had better doctors to go to, Kaiser does not suit our needs to say the least. If we have to stay with them I am going to have to get a medical degree so my kids can get the proper care.

Thank you all for your support and good wishes. You are all always so kind. I share these stories so it may help you all in someway, even if it is just to show you YOU ARE NOT ALONE.. Love to you all..

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Anxiety Please Go Away, My Poor Daughter

Upset-teenager

 

I wrote a post the other day about my daughter and her anxiety, Bipolar Disorder and Anxiety in a Teen! Here we sit, with extremely high anxiety, tears, nausea, throwing up and the medicine they gave her didn’t even take the edge off, so they say take more.

She took two pills this am and what happened, her nausea was so bad she is home from school. Ugh, this child has a sensitive stomach so when we took 2mg of Lorazepam this morning she immediately started throwing up and couldn’t stop, 2 hours later she is still in pain and nauseated. I put in another call to the doctor and am currently waiting.

The problem with Lorazepam is that you take it as needed. My daughters anxiety is so bad 100% of the time that she is so sick when it turns into a panic attack she can’t stomach the medicine. I tried to tell the doctor we just need to change her daily medicines to counteract the constant anxiety so she doesn’t get into a panic attack but they just don’t understand that I know what I am talking about. They won’t listen to me, how could I know what I am talking about?  Hello Doctors, I have been dealing with this my entire life and for her since she was 5 years old. I think I know what works for her and what does not.. grrrr

So she is now laying on the couch with a stomach ache and nausea watching videos on her phone, when she should be at school.  She is to work today and although I don’t think she should work when she didn’t make it to school, the fact is that if she hadn’t taken the medicine I would have pushed her out the door and got her to school so she has to get out to work. I now that at her age I had a case of Agoraphobia that kept me from leaving the house and I don’t want her to get to that point. It was such a struggle to get out of the house, I would go through a lot of what she is going through, emotional, throwing up, diarrhea  had to force myself out but it took a good 30 minutes or more to just get out the door.

I left another message for the doctor today, same as I did yesterday and we are waiting, once again.. Just thought I would share her struggle so you out there having the same issues realize YOU’RE NOT ALONE.

Hugs and love to you all…

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Time for a Bipolar Update

If you have read my other posts you know that I have been in a deep depression for a while now.It took me a while to realize it but I finally did and had posted a couple times about it. It is time again to update you on how things are going and how I am dealing with it.

Since I just published a post about my taking on a new blog, I am sure some of you are wondering if I am in a manic or hypo-manic state. The answer to that would be Yes. When I came out of the depression I headed directly into hypo-mania. Actually a bit of it overlapped each other, I was taking on loads of  new stuff, started a new blog, and even more at home while still feeling depressed. Then I came out of the depression fully and popped right into Hypo-mania. 

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The Parenting of Teens, Drama

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I love my two girls, both teens, they are special people. They are kind to others and loving beings but the teenage know it all, you don’t understand bologna is getting to me. I noticed a big change in my older daughter when she turned 16. She got her license and is doing well with the driving, but her attitude, wow, way out of line all the time. I know she has no clue what she is doing or saying to me and her sister but she can really make you feel badly. She plays the guilt game rather well and I spent last night eating until I went to bed because her and I got into a fight, I was telling her to stop being so nasty all the time. I know over eating isn’t helping either of us, but it is what I do!

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New School Year and an Old Bully

cartoon image of cyber bullying

With school getting back in session soon I can’t help but worry about my oldest daughter and the problems she had for years with one girl and her group of friends. My daughter was bullied for 4 full years until I finally said, “I am done with this like it or not I am going to the school!” She begged me not to she was embarrassed and felt it would make it worse. Well she was wrong, it didn’t make it worse it gave her some relief for me to stand up for her and make the school accountable to stop the bullying. Finally I see some confidence coming back to my daughter and she has gotten her drivers license and become quite independent. Her confidence has risen greatly. I am very proud of her!

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School is Almost in Session

Wow can you believe the summer is almost over! I know we can’t believe it, spent the entire summer closed up in the house being sick. Each one of us getting the flu starting with my youngest the day after they got out of school. She was sick for 3 full weeks then I got it, sick for 3 full weeks and still struggling with the congestion, then my oldest got it, sick for full 3 weeks and still coughing and congested.Image of kids at school bus stop

My youngest starts back to school 27th of August, and my oldest 04th of Sept, so yesterday we were out all day long shopping for clothes. Spent way too much and were all so exhausted at the end of the day we went to bed at 7pm. Not good for me as I slept for 8 straight hours and woke up at 3:30am. Yikes!! Going to be a NAP day for me! We had a great time shopping, had tons of luck for my youngest and got some good things and good deals for my oldest. My oldest has the worst anxiety and usually we have a real hard time getting clothes for her but we had a fun time and found a few things, Yay!

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Those Bipolar Anxiety Moments

I recently decided to start looking for a home, well a mobile home. I cannot in anyway afford a true house so this is another option and we have a really nice park in town that I know people who live in and are happy there.

My father will help me with a down payment and I might be able to save as much as 500.00 a month cartoon image of woman in bed unable to sleep with anxietywith this move and be out of apartments. Here I was super excited about the prospect of it all and I picked up some flyer’s and needed to call.. Well a week went by and I just couldn’t call.  I know nothing about purchasing a home of any form and my anxiety took over.

My boyfriend asked me if I had made any calls and I explained to him, in tears, that I couldn’t get past the anxiety and make the calls. He said, ” I will call for you, I will come over tomorrow and we will call.” and he did just that.. What a great guy.  Thank you Carl.

We looked at this one unit that was beautiful. Fully renovated all new appliances and 3 bedrooms in a terrific park. This park is run strictly and kept very clean. There are kids and a great pool but things are orderly and kept nice. It is the premier park in our area.

I was so nervous going to look at the place and of course Carl went with me. I walked in and fell in love with it. It’s beautiful and not like most mobile homes you would imagine. The kids could have their own room and I wouldn’t have anyone above me walking around like elephants at 11pm every night. I am sure that with out Carl helping me I would not have been able to make this contact. The anxiety I have is such a strong force that holds me back from things I have never experienced I try so hard to over come it but in this case it won.

Do you have any anxiety like this or do you know any one who does?? How do you get past it or do you? I am blessed to have good people in my life that help me past this issue, but there are times I miss out on things because of it. Leave me a comment…

Much Love

Shauna

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Feeling the Relief

Image of Cartoon Dog Juggling

Me Juggling Life!

Today I made a couple of Big decisions and I am just beginning to feel the relief. I have addressed a few problems that I had been putting off.  Seems to be one of my symptoms to put stuff off, especially stuff I really don’t know how to handle, or a situation I have never been in!

I have never been good with my finances. I tend to not keep close enough eye on my money and times are tough right now so I have fallen behind on most of my credit bills. We run out of money 2 weeks after I get paid and I get paid once a month. I just pray we don’t run out of something we can’t live without but this past month I had to borrow money from Carl to get through. That is super embarrassing for me. I am at a point in my life that I have never been at before, I have never been in a position that I couldn’t pay my bills on time and with the increase in cost

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Depression and Sleep..

Image of Woman Laying in Bed

This is where I want to be!

I admitted to myself and the world yesterday I am deeply depressed, slipped right into a major depression when I wasn’t looking.  I am not sleeping. I sleep but I never really rest, my mind is going like I am awake and I wake up in the morning exhausted with thoughts swirling in my brain.

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Trip to the Lab with my Teen.

I have to share this experience with you for several reasons. First it was kind of funny, second I want to help others understand anxiety and the power it has over your mind and body.

Here it is more than a month after the doctor ordered blood work for my 16 year old.  Keep in mind she has a terrible panic/anxiety issue where doctors, hospitals, labs or any kind of x-ray or test are concerned. Her experiences with hospitals and people who could not put in an IV started when she was 3 yrs old.  She was hospitalized for a urinary tract infection. Long story!  Needless to say I took her to the hospital the doctor told me to take her to when I should have taken her to Children’s Hospital.  Anyway, at that time it was discovered that she has a kidney re-flux problem. The tests were invasive and traumatizing and were done annually for several years, until we couldn’t get her through it any longer. She has never been able to get her blood drawn without a full panic attack.

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Driving License Test on Monday

I can’t believe it!! My daughter’s behind the wheel driving test is Monday.  We have had to borrow a car from a neighbor for her to be able to take the test because I only have a stick shift.  Don’t get me wrong she has learned on my car and drives great but with her anxiety issues she is not able to take the test in my car.

You have to understand she is seriously depressed right now. So much so she has been having a hard time going to school, she is so down, but I force her to go to teach her she has to work through the depression.  Unfortunately, what comes with her depression is high anxiety.  Anxiety and a behind the wheel test in a stick shift, with a total stranger, are not a good match.

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Psych Appointment for my Youngest…

Well believe it or not it actually happened finally, the appointment that is!! 

All in all the doctor was nice, semi thorough so I am hoping things go well.  She is a bit annoying, mainly her voice, but nothing to complain about really!!  Jessi actually talked to her some answered questions once she was comfortable.  She doesn’t like doctors and doesn’t like to talk to people she doesn’t know and really doesn’t want to admit the problems she has so there is always a bit of nudging to get her to speak.. lol :)  Got the refill for her medication and of course it is more costly than with the last insurance it was 90.00 co pay for 90 days worth the pills.  Could be worse.. :) 

I was able to set an appointment for my oldest Samantha and she will go on Monday at 9am.  Not looking forward to the cost on her medication as with the other company it was over 200.00 for 90 day supply, Yikes!  Lets hope it isn’t much more than that.. :)  I still don’t think this place is equipped to really give good psychiatric care but we will do what we can to get what the kids need.  It was interesting as I told her how Jessi has been lately and how up and down she has been and she says ok I will see you back in three months.. I thought Really?! But what can you expect.. NO real attempt to see her a few times to see how she is really doing just refill the meds and send her on her way.  LOL

I must sound hard to please, well I am, where the kids are concerned.  Oh, we are also going to see about signing up for a class that will teach her some coping skills for her anxiety..  She has had some pretty good panic attacks over the last few months so I think that might be helpful.  I have heard they have decent therapy and classes that can help with certain things so we will check it out and see what it is all about.

I am thankful they finally contacted me and we were able to see a doctor and not go through all the red tape of therapy and evaluations etc..  I want the evaluations but would prefer it be by the doctor that will be treating her.  I don’t believe a report in writing is going to tell the doctor much, she needs to evaluate them herself.

Very sorry I didn’t get this done sooner, I spent the day starting to set up a blog at a different place to switch to but there are issues there.  Just so you all know I will be moving the blog as I want more functionality so watch for that to happen.. Coming Soon a new look but same address! 

Mountain Sunset

~Far away in the sunshine are my highest aspirations. I may not reach them, but I can look up and see their beauty, believe in them, and try to follow where they lead.
~Louisa May Alcott~

Quote from Inspirational Quotes

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Life Values and Bipolar Limitations…

This is part of a comment from a blog called Thebipolarproject… and the reason for the topic of this post! I suggest you check out her blog! 

I think you have it quite tough because you have a lot of responsibilities, you have children and extra stresses and difficulties. That’s a lot to juggle, and I admire your ability to keep pushing on. I would love to know more about what you value in life, what is important to you and the limitations that you do have and how you work within them (or not!) – Maybe a topic for a post on your blog? 

I’m not sure how to answer that but here is my best try at it; I value high morals, always do the right thing, always think of others, always make up for what mistakes you make, own your actions don’t blame others, work as hard as you can to be the BEST person you possible, don’t accept less than your best and be the best parent you can, your forming adults and they must know your values!  Help others in whatever way you can but don’t accept abuse from them. You must respect yourself or you won’t be happy!

With my illness I find it important to surround myself with positive people. Those that don’t make drama out of nothing and those that care about others. That doesn’t mean I don’t help those that don’t appreciate my help but I will only do what I can and if it affects my life, my kids, my world in a negative fashion it has to be stopped.  I have been mistreated many times but I can’t usually help myself until it affects me in a negative way.  Then I realize I’m not helping anyone and just sacrificing my stable moods so I have to stop.  I don’t help anyone with any expectation of getting anything in return, except respect of my life and my feelings.  

I do my best to not judge people, I don’t know what their life is like and I am not in their shoes so I try not to judge. Am I always successful at that, NO we all have those moments that we later realize we were being unfair, we are human. 

I have severe mood swings and anger at times and I have lit into people unnecessarily but I always regret it, the rage that comes with my illness sometimes takes over.. like the incident with my neighbor that I wrote about in a earlier post.  I always apologize and I  feel horrible about it as that rage isn’t who I really am, it’s a symptom of my illness that I work hard to control.

The number one most important thing in my life is my Children.  My two girls mean the world to me and I have worked hard for years to control my illness and change my negative thought processes to a more positive way of thinking and I am hoping they will be better people for it just as I am. 

My limitations you ask.. there are many! Number one I cannot work! The stress of a job sends me over the edge every time, it undoes my stability and pushes me into a world of depression and anger. I get lost in the swirling of my Bipolar Mind.  It takes a lot out of me daily to control my symptoms and live normally. I have to watch my feelings , reactions and level of happiness constantly, because any change could mean a big mood change in my life.  It’s difficult to not be able to work, money is a huge issue. Here I am on the third of January with not enough money to pay rent, turning in my recycling and collecting it from others to attempt to make it one more month. It’s difficult with two teenage girls who also have depression issues that have to be treated. I also have to watch them and their lives and reactions and such to make sure they aren’t falling over the edge and get them to the doctor when they are.. I must have the money to buy their medicine which is quite expensive even with insurance.

When you are depressed, which we always are, its hard to get up each day and get two depressed teenagers out of bed, ready, off to school and deal with all their weird morning quirks etc. I love them and I do it because I do love them, they have to see that you can’t let the depression rule your life. Really depression is just a fact of our life and we have to set up our lives and limits around it. If our anxiety is high then we don’t go shop that day or where ever we would normally go but we will push our way out the next day.

I can’t go into big crowds most days and my oldest daughter can’t either as our anxiety is high, we have a difficult time going some where we have never been before or talking with someone we have never talked to before. The anxiety is crippling if we give into it.

Since this post is getting so long I think I will stop there… Maybe I can expand on things further in another post.  There are so many accepted limitations that it isn’t easy to know what mine are in comparison to others anymore. :)

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Dinner Out and Anxiety…

Have you ever seen an adult or child out in a Public place with a blank stare, staring straight forward and looking really unhappy? They have that look like they are trying to disappear into the back ground and they don’t make eye contact at all. 

That was my daughter this last Friday night when we went to dinner with some friends.  Unfortunately the restaurant choice was a noisy, crazy, fun and somewhat obnoxious place.  It is a fun place but my daughter, who is 15, has serious anxiety and is Bipolar2, couldn’t take it.

Of course all the adults in the area kept trying to talk to her and the waiter was down right picking at her because she was so blank.  Really, she was petrified and every person that insisted on talking to her and trying to make her smile made it ten times worse but how do you tell people to stop with out embarrassing her? I have never over the past 10 years had any way to tell people to stop with out it being an issue and them wanting further explanation.  If you explain its anxiety they don’t understand and want more information, which turns into a full discussion and embarrasses her. :(

So on this occasion I decided to start the fun.  I picked up a napkin, wadded it up and threw it at my other daughter.  See this restaurant you throw napkins around and do whatever make a huge mess. That started everyone at the table throwing napkins at each other and then expanded to the other people seated in the area.  Before I knew it the entire room was throwing napkins and wearing funny paper hats the waiters were making for them. The waiters and waitresses were throwing entire packages of napkins into the air and they were falling like large snow flakes. It was a ton of fun.

But there was my daughter still sitting in the same place with a blank look on her face and now she is annoyed as she has no tolerance for fun silly stuff when she feels that way.  At least not everyone was watching her and wondering what was wrong and there were no conversations on the fact that she has terrible anxiety and has since she was 5.

I just try to talk to her and keep her present and calm but she didn’t even eat dinner we took her meal home, she just couldn’t do it!  When we got home she was exhausted, that is what that type of anxiety will do to you.  She went straight to bed and slept late the next day! 

I hope that if you see anyone this uncomfortable you won’t keep at them if they don’t respond. I completely understand why people  talk to her at first because they want to help but when she doesn’t respond I wish people would let her be.  If there was something to be done to help her I would have already done it!! :)  

Information

This is a link to NIMH statistics on anxiety in children http://www.nimh.nih.gov/statistics/1ANYANX_child.shtml

Facts & Statistics From Anxiety Disorders Association of America 

 Did You Know?
  • Anxiety disorders are the most common mental illness in the U.S., affecting 40 million adults in the United States age 18 and older (18% of U.S. population).
  • Anxiety disorders are highly treatable, yet only about one-third of those suffering receive treatment.
  • Anxiety disorders cost the U.S. more than $42 billion a year, almost one-third of the country’s $148 billion total mental health bill, according to “The Economic Burden of Anxiety Disorders,” a study commissioned by ADAA (The Journal of Clinical Psychiatry,60(7), July 1999).
    •  More than $22.84 billion of those costs are associated with the repeated use of health care services; people with anxiety disorders seek relief for symptoms that mimic physical illnesses.
  • People with an anxiety disorder are three to five times more likely to go to the doctor and six times more likely to be hospitalized for psychiatric disorders than those who do not suffer from anxiety disorders.
  • Anxiety disorders develop from a complex set of risk factors, including genetics, brain chemistry, personality, and life events.
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Am I Recovering From my Bipolar Episode??

If you have a mental illness you may understand this, if not you may not but I will try to be clear.  

For me an “episode” is up and down moods, inner anxiety and tenseness, a swirling of anger and emotions, highs (hypo-mania), over spending, not able to concentrate, busy and loud mind, under cleaning and well complete disorganization in all aspects of my life.   I do this rapid cycling thing so this all happens quickly over and over. My stress level gets super high and my blood pressure rises which causes me to be really tense.  This can last days, weeks, months and even years it varies every time.  The good news is this happens to me less than it used to due to my meds. 

This past “episode” lasted about 7 months from May 2011 to December 2011. Well that is if it’s actually subsiding. It’s hard to know as you feel good one day but then can either wake up totally depressed and pissed off the next or the good feeling can keep rising into a further episode of hypo-mania. I’m hoping for a recovery.  

For the last couple days I have felt almost like myself again. A calm happiness is how I describe it.  Being able to almost relax, I say almost cause I NEVER relax. I don’t know if its related to the Bipolar but I NEVER relax fully. Carl has really helped me with that tho as he is a calm easy-going guy and there is never drama of any kind with him. He is so comfortable I almost forget my issues. 

I even asked Carl today if he has noticed a difference in me the last few days and he said he did.  It might be a false recovery but I’m hoping not.  I dislike being unsure all the time about how I am going to wake up, but I hope for the best every day. :) 

When all this started it took me months  to realize I was having an “episode”.  I didn’t know what to do because I didn’t realize it got further than it should have so I didn’t adjust my meds till I was fully gone into the “episode”.  I have adjusted my meds but it takes weeks to months for it to take hold and I have to hope I have adjusted the right ones.  Looks like I may have made the right changes.  Cross your fingers! :)

I am hoping for a nice calm relaxing holiday but I know with my family that’s not likely. LOL 

I wish you all Happy Holidays!

May you find Peace, Joy and Happiness in the coming year!  

May all your dreams come true!

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Continued: Anxiety and Trouble at School

Well If you have read my other two posts My Daughter and Anxiety and Continued Anxiety and my Daughter you have an idea of how much anxiety my youngest has dealt with, well here is an update! 

Today I called the school at 7am to see if I could set up to where I would be at the meeting Jessica had to have with the Vice Principle at school.  I just wanted to be there to support her and her anxiety about it was so bad that she was making herself ill again.  Never been in trouble at school and had no idea what would happen! 

We met him at 7:40 10 min before school was to start and he wanted the teacher to be there as well. We talked about it all and I explained it wasnt the teachers fault but Jessi had admitted to cheating when she swears she wasnt.  I understand she has to be treated like she is guilty as she said she was.. :(  Well we waited, and waited but the teacher never came to the meeting.  Jessi has math assessment tests today and that was her first period class so now she is late for that class.  Her math teacher called while we were meeting to tell Jessi that she can stay in her class during science to finish the testing if need be. Which is good because that’s the class where she is being punished for Cheating on a test. 

Once she relaxed the Vice Principle and I decided we would not wait any longer and he walked her to class.  Jessi had relaxed and I think the anxiety for today might have passed. Yay!! :)  I came home and went a step further.  I decided I may have mishandled the conversation with her teacher. I upset her and couldn’t shake that feeling so I typed up  a nice email explaining and apologizing for mishandling our conversation and sent it to the teacher.  

I do still believe Jessi didn’t cheat on the test (she did cheat on the homework tho) but really we will never know! I’m OK with that as I think this anxiety she has is a good sign.  She has a conscience and she will not do wrong again with her work. We all make mistakes and I believe she has learned from this experience!  

So here I am reading a website called DamnYouAutoCorrect.com and laughing as my stress level so needs to decrease! I’m exhausted!! lol  :)  Hope you all have a great weekend and a nice holiday coming up! 

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Continued… Anxiety and My Daughter…

Today was a hard day for my youngest daughter and me.  She went back to school after being out for three full days and promptly got another talking to by her teacher.  It seems that her teacher decided she cheated on a test, not hard to understand how, but when she questioned Jessi about it she panicked and told the teacher she was the one who cheated.  The minute the teacher confronted her with the accusation she began a full-blown panic attack.  Yep full-blown panic attack. 

Jessi managed to sit through the rest of the class but by the time she got to her next class she was visible sick.  She was pale, having a hard time breathing and visibly upset.  She was scared and her next teacher noticed she didn’t look good and sent her to the nurse’s office.  The nurse knew she had been out of school 3 days this week and allowed Jessi to call me.  I thought maybe she just  needed to eat something so I took her some peanut butter crackers.  She ate one but she was visible ill so I talked to her about what was wrong.  I told her I thought she was having anxiety and I needed to know what was wrong but she insisted nothing was wrong.  So I took her home. We talked a lot but she insisted she had no idea why she was so panicked and upset.

Then about 20 minutes after we were home she says to me, “mom I think I may know whats wrong.” I said, “OK honey, what is it?”  She proceeds to tell me that her teacher accused her of cheating on a test and that she didn’t cheat, but she told the teacher it was her that cheated. Not sure why because she insists she didn’t cheat on the test.  She admits to cheating on the homework but swears she didn’t cheat on the test.  

So I called the teacher to discuss it, after Jessi told me that the teacher told her she didn’t believe she was sick and she is not dumb she knows why Jessi hasn’t been at school .  That was not a good thing  as that made me angry. This child has thrown up off and on for 3 days, who is this teacher to say she wasn’t sick without talking to me.  So basically that’s what I told the teacher.  Of course she swears she would never say that to her and began to cry.  I thought are you kidding me!  The teacher goes on and on refusing to let me talk and bawling and then tells me its her birthday and she was having a good day until now.  Guilt trip anyone! ugh!

So I told her Jessi and I wanted  to meet with her to clear the air because Jessi is really upset about facing her again.  So I wanted to meet with her in the morning but she can’t do that, Jessi is going to have to find a way through her day. :(  I hope she makes it!!

I ended up hanging up the phone completely upset and confused about what to believe.  My daughter has lied before but this teacher has a reputation for not being very nice. Jessi and I talked a lot today and she is insistent she didn’t cheat on the test, she was copying homework but didn’t cheat on the test.  Since Jessi has been accused and admitted to cheating on the test she has to meet with the vice principal and is really freaked out about meeting with him. The world of the unknown is very scary for someone with anxiety!  I will have to let you all know what happens next.. Stay Tuned!  :)

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My Daughter and Anxiety…

Have you ever wondered, is my child really sick or do they have a serious case of anxiety?  

That is a question I have asked myself since my youngest daughter’s teacher called me today.  She believes that since my daughter received a Step on her Step Card for copying Math homework off a friend, that her anxiety is making her sick to her stomach.  My daughter has missed school this entire week due to a sick stomach.  She has actually been throwing up semi regularly for those three days.  Yesterday, she was fine all day and then when she ate dinner at her dads she got sick and came home early.  Her dad says to me that he isn’t sure she got sick at all and that she mentioned me picking her up by 2nd period today from school and when she got home she promptly asked me about that.  I told her we would see. 

Well this morning her very nice Math teacher called to discuss the incident on Friday with the copying of Math homework and punishment she received that  my daughter is scared to go back to school. She thinks the anxiety of it might make her ill.  A big bright light bulb went off in my head and I realized she is probably right. So my daughter just got up at 9:30 am and I have to talk to her about it. 

It’s this type of thing that makes me worry fully about her mental state. She takes meds for depression and it has helped her tremendously. I think this just shows her mental stability a bit is  questionable.  Not that kids don’t make themselves sick worrying about things but this has gone on since Sunday afternoon, it is now Wednesday! 

I’m not saying she needs more medication but it really tells me a lot about how her mind works. I need help her through this and recognize when she is torturing herself over nothing. We must really pay attention to the cues our kids give us even tho some of them are subtle. 

So off I go to talk to her and reassure her everything is fine at school, her teachers understand we all make mistakes and simply want her to learn from it!  Wish me luck!! :) 

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