I have to say that over the years I have found friendships difficult. I am very loyal, honest, deeply caring, and protective of my friends. I am offended when someone is speaking ill of them, even if insinuated, and I can’t help but get angry. I want to see them stand up for themselves but most of the time they won’t. I would almost rather not have friends if they won’t stand up and be heard.
Now I know we are all different but I have a big hang up with people judging or jumping to conclusions about the people I care about. I feel that if you do not clear up insinuated situations you let yourself be a victim of the jerk that is sending out negativity, in essence your allowing the poor behavior and it drives me insane. Is it my place to tell someone what to do? Nope, but when it comes to a friend, I want to tell them to stand up for themselves, clear up situations that might reflect badly on them. Do not allow people in your life, any aspect of it, that cannot respect you or your online network, family, friends etc.
Does it help anyone to allow poor behavior and others to be subject to it, without addressing it in the least?? I don’t think it is but that is the thing, “I” don’t think it is but not everyone agrees. “I” feel it is important especially online but in real life also, to stand up for yourself and not allow others to influence people negatively about you or what you do etc. Once again “I” feel that way. I feel so strongly about it that when my friends don’t feel the same I get angry. Not at them but just generally angry, “I” am passionate about proper behavior and respect of others, yet when this stuff happens I try to force my opinion on them. That is not respecting them and their ways or opinions. It is an irrational part of me that I do not fully understand. I feel it is related to the Anger that comes with my depression/Bipolar moods. It is an area I have not fixed in me and it drives me nuts.
It seems I get angry and lose respect for those friends but it isn’t my place to tell them how to feel. I am just wondering if anyone else has this issue or a similar issue. A protectiveness that is almost irrational. So much so it’s hard not to but in and tell the other person to stop it and have respect. It takes all I have to let it be and let them deal with it their way, or not. I have to remove myself and that causes me to distance myself from my friend and I hate it.
Am I wrong?? I don’t honestly know what I am trying to say but I am angry this morning because I don’t like games played with my friends or about my friends for people to get attention. To insinuate or clearly state someone is doing something they really have no idea if they are doing it. They are assuming something that is not true and the friend won’t stand up and correct it. Ugh I just want to change this part of me but I have no idea how to do it. So I distance myself from my friend, and the situation, I miss them and I am paying the price. Grrrr!
What to do, What to do??? Anyone have any suggestions on this? Or does this even make sense to anyone else??