If you have followed my other posts about my girls and their relationship with their father, mostly my oldest and her failed relationship with him, you know that my girls relationship with each other has been torn apart. Their dad favoring one over the other so dramatically has strained their relationship and it breaks my heart.
I have good news on that front but unfortunately it comes with a bit of heartbreak as well. My youngest daughter has also stopped seeing her father, due to her step mothers treatment of her sister. Now this breaks my heart as girls need their dad but he has chosen to blame the girls for his new wife’s behavior on so many occasions they have both had it with him. I tried everything over the past 6 years to help him heal his relationship but his wife keeps undermining all efforts made. I am referring to my efforts certainly not his as he has made basically no effort. So that’s the bad news but the good news is what it is doing for the girls relationship.
It has been a few weeks since my youngest has been home. Her schedule with her dad kept her away from us from 3 to 8pm all week except Wednesdays, and she spent every Friday night at his house and every other weekend. This schedule made her a virtual stranger in our home and the sisters grew apart for several reasons. Now that they are together so much more they are relating better and accepting each other better. Oh they bicker but that’s normal, now they are getting closer and we feel like a family again. I miss my kids when they are with their dad and then after the divorce I agreed to a terrible schedule as I didn’t have time to think it through before it was part of the court order. Didn’t have a good attorney, to say the least.
It has brought so much more to our home to have them together again. My older daughter stopped seeing her dad a couple years ago so it was just my youngest that was gone and the two girls spent almost no time together. Am I happy that she is here? Yes but I am not happy that she does not have a relationship with her father.
Girls need their dads, they base all relationships with men off that relationship and when its broken it could mean a rocky road ahead. I pray that I can teach them about good relationships and how to respect them selves and require respect from other, and how to love fully without sacrifice. This is a bittersweet situation for me. They love their dad and both miss him terribly but they can’t compete with the wife and deal with the stress in their home. So here I am with two girls that have a broken relationship with their father.
I will love them and accept them for who they are no matter what and I hope that is enough to ease the pain they have from their broken relationship with their father.