Monthly Archives: January 2012

float with the mermaids…

I met Pamela and Miriam this month at La Costa. They are awesome women and I think Mermaids in the Desert is a great idea. Join them and you too will get to meet these lovely women, they may just change your life! I am honored to call them my friends!

Please go here to see the post from Miriam Gomberg’s blog.. I believe you will enjoy it!


I have a question for my followers…

I will be moving my blog from to in the next day or so.. I wanted to do this move so I could do more with the blog and possibly try to earn a bit to help me and the kids. There will also be a cost in the blog now as I will have to pay for hosting but it’s the only way I have any freedom with it.

I really have received a lot of support from you all and I wanted to ask YOU what you thought of me adding a bit of ads and doing posts on products or reviews? I really do want to know what you think. If it would put you out or get under your skin at all.  I will keep my normal content as well and hopefully get better at blogging as time goes on!

Please leave me a comment, I am sincere about wanting to know what you think.

Thank you for all your support!



Packing, Moving and Boat Show?

Wow had an exhausting and Fun weekend!! 

Image of moving boxesMy mom decided to move which you already know if you read some of my other posts. She is living out-of-town and caring for an elderly woman, which she is really good at, has compassion for elderly people.  She came in town thursday evening, and Friday morning, my oldest daughter and I went to start helping her pack.  We had Friday and Saturday to pack and load the trailer. Sunday my brother was coming to drive the trailer out to her new place and unload it.  My mom has a ton of stuff so it was quite a job but we did it, also with the help of my Youngest daughter and then Carl came Saturday afternoon and absolutely rescued us. He helped us move the heavier items like the washer and dryer etc. He is my Hero on so many levels. :) We were so tired that it would have taken us forever to get it all done. 

Even tho packing was hard work and we are all exhausted it was nice to spend two straight days with my girls. Image of Yachts

Today, Sunday we went to the boat show!  My first boat show by the way! I was in awe of some of these boats, and Yachts! They were huge and gorgeous, with every option you can imagine.  Gorgeous is the only word that fits.  It was a beautiful warm sunny San Diego day! Being on the water looking at these boats was an amazing experience Carl was mesmerized by the boats and he wants one so badly!  I know he will eventually have one but he wants to buy a house first.  After the boat show we went to eat at a restaurant called Joe’s Crab Shack, some of you may know it!! 

I love doing this stuff with Carl, it’s so nice to be experiencing different things in town!! I have lived my entire life here and not ever been to a boat show!  Being so comfortable with Carl really lets me appreciate the things we do together. :) 

Most of the shadows of this life are caused by our standing in our own sunshine.
~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Image: Danilo Rizzuti /

Image: Salvatore Vuono /


Psych Appointment for my Youngest…

Well believe it or not it actually happened finally, the appointment that is!! 

All in all the doctor was nice, semi thorough so I am hoping things go well.  She is a bit annoying, mainly her voice, but nothing to complain about really!!  Jessi actually talked to her some answered questions once she was comfortable.  She doesn’t like doctors and doesn’t like to talk to people she doesn’t know and really doesn’t want to admit the problems she has so there is always a bit of nudging to get her to speak.. lol :)  Got the refill for her medication and of course it is more costly than with the last insurance it was 90.00 co pay for 90 days worth the pills.  Could be worse.. :) 

I was able to set an appointment for my oldest Samantha and she will go on Monday at 9am.  Not looking forward to the cost on her medication as with the other company it was over 200.00 for 90 day supply, Yikes!  Lets hope it isn’t much more than that.. :)  I still don’t think this place is equipped to really give good psychiatric care but we will do what we can to get what the kids need.  It was interesting as I told her how Jessi has been lately and how up and down she has been and she says ok I will see you back in three months.. I thought Really?! But what can you expect.. NO real attempt to see her a few times to see how she is really doing just refill the meds and send her on her way.  LOL

I must sound hard to please, well I am, where the kids are concerned.  Oh, we are also going to see about signing up for a class that will teach her some coping skills for her anxiety..  She has had some pretty good panic attacks over the last few months so I think that might be helpful.  I have heard they have decent therapy and classes that can help with certain things so we will check it out and see what it is all about.

I am thankful they finally contacted me and we were able to see a doctor and not go through all the red tape of therapy and evaluations etc..  I want the evaluations but would prefer it be by the doctor that will be treating her.  I don’t believe a report in writing is going to tell the doctor much, she needs to evaluate them herself.

Very sorry I didn’t get this done sooner, I spent the day starting to set up a blog at a different place to switch to but there are issues there.  Just so you all know I will be moving the blog as I want more functionality so watch for that to happen.. Coming Soon a new look but same address! 

Mountain Sunset

~Far away in the sunshine are my highest aspirations. I may not reach them, but I can look up and see their beauty, believe in them, and try to follow where they lead.
~Louisa May Alcott~

Quote from Inspirational Quotes

Image: M – Pics /


A Victory in Finding a New Psychiatrist Through an HMO

I have possible won the struggle with the HMO to get my kids treated by a psychiatrist!? 

Happy Days!!

I am ecstatic!! I just got a call from the HMO (health Insurance) that I was beginning to despise and they set an appointment for one of my girls to see the psychiatrist today!!
If you read my other posts about the new HMO insurance policy you will understand how relieved I am today!!

I will have to update you all this evening when I get home from the appointment… Lets hope it goes well!! :)

So funny but this feels like a Victory for me!! :)  Woo hoo!!!



Get Involved.

Im hoping anyone that reads this can help Beth out with her project. Just a pic of the words, I will not be Silenced!


Mental Illness??? Or Another Problem??

I was talking with a friend and it made me realize that deciding if you are mentally ill or have some other issue is not easy.  I remember when I met with my psychiatrist all those years ago, the one I see now, he told me NO ONE fits into the molds of textbook Bipolar or whatever illness you may suffer from.  I think that was one of the eye-opening facts he gave me right away.  

If you look up Bipolar for instance… I never knew there are two forms and if I read the symptoms I don’t fit perfectly into that yet I am Bipolar II.  That is my diagnosis and I fully believe it.  I realized after talking to my doctor that life factors come into how your mental illness starts and progresses therefore none of us fit PERFECTLY into a diagnosis.  You maybe Bipolar but have some symptoms from other illness’ kind of related to it.  

So when you see symptoms you aren’t sure if it is actually an illness or something else, maybe a health issue or tumor etc..  Is this normal? you will ask yourself, and others, who will tell you yeah your fine..blah blah blah  There is very little understanding of Mental Illness in general society, people fear it and therefore there is a stigma.  People will deny it for years and years, maybe forever… Like my mother!   

My point here is… drum roll please…. :)  If you have any one serious symptom of any mental illness who is it going to hurt if you go see a doctor to discuss it? Also Is that symptom interfering with you living life normally? If so you need a doctor… The earlier you catch a problem the easier it is for you to learn and control it and have the doctors help you with medicines, your diet or therapy, whatever is right for YOU.  There is no Magic Pill out there that will fix you up with out some work and YOU MUST LEARN ABOUT YOUR ILLNESS.  Knowledge is power people, I know that’s cliché but it is true.   

When I learned of my illness I went online into chat rooms and listened and sites and read and read and did all the research I could. My husband hated it and complained about the time I spent on the computer.  That really should have been my first clue he wasn’t going to support me… LOL  Years of work and research and therapy and doctor appointments and medicines and all that goes into full treatment and finding the road to recovery.  The first step is to accept it and realize its not the end of the world its the beginning of your happy life.  Really it is.. at least it was for me. 

Image of dock going of over a lake

Peaceful Journey

Image: federico stevanin /


Re-post: Echoes

I just wanted to bring your attention to our Websites Blog, Community Blog.  There Sonya, our founder, has been attending Bruce Sallan’s Twitter Party #DadChat. This occurs on Thursdays from 6-7 pm PST, and is great for all parents, Dads and Moms alike. He likes to stir up a bit of fun so you should all go check it out.  

Sonya Attends weekly at this point and that is an accomplishment since 6-7 pm PST is 2am her time.  Thank you Sonya for your dedication to furthering the site and helping others.  

Anyway she posted a great blog about the #DadChat Twitter Party and I would love to see you all go check it out.. Click here to see the blog. 

Thank you all for your support and encouragement over the past few months, you have been great to us!


Psych Appointment….

I have not posted about my appointments with my doctor before so this is kind of new for me. Just a couple of thoughts I will share today about my appointment with Dr. S.

I dropped the kids off today and ran off to the doctor immediately as my appointments with him are early morning.  Dr. S has two offices one local to me and one a bit far and the one in my area he works in the morning the other in the afternoon.  

It was funny talking to him today because he says how happy he is with how I’m doing and then says you were such a MESS, while shaking his head.  He is actually happy for me and almost giddy. Let me explain something about him… He is a gruff guy, he isn’t personable at all, he keeps his distance and is very business like which some people find odd.  I have always liked him, you can tell he knows what he is doing, and truly even though he is gruff you can see he cares.  Other family members who have met him didn’t take to him the same.  :)  To see Dr. S nearly giddy and giggling about how well I am in comparison to the mess I was 10 yrs ago was a good moment for me.  

This doctor has saved us so much misery I can’t even tell you.  It’s good to see him happy with me. :)  Now, finding out my insurance didn’t pay for June’s and October’s appointment was not fun. Even though I paid the co pays at the time, today I had to shell out $260.00 to get up to date and I could only do that because my tax return is waiting to be deposited on my account and will be in there on Tuesday.  Thank goodness!

It is really hard to believe how miserable I was all that time ago and it is nice to share with Dr. S our accomplishment of straightening me out and helping me be happy!

What a great man to dedicate his life to helping the mentally ill stabilize and do their best! I am Thankful we found him and he can help us the way he has, but I am sad my kids cannot see him any longer.

There is still no resolution to the issues I have with the HMO, they of course have not called me yet and probably won’t. Next week I will be making some calls and laying into someone.  Not looking forward to that… :(  Oh well I must fight for the kids.  :) 

Image of Inspirational stones

To find what you seek in the road of life,
the best proverb of all is that which says:
“Leave no stone unturned.”
~Edward Bulwer Lytton


Re-post off a Friends Blog ~ Post #100: A Look Back

I had a good friend of mine ask me to re-publish this post on my blog. I was honored and immediately said Yes I will.  I think you all will enjoy a look at his blog.  You will find the comments great too! ♥ 


Post #100: A Look Back Via Jason’s Spina Bifida Journey  

Who would have ever thought I would hang around long enough as a blogger to see the day when I’d have 100 posts? Certainly not this guy, who’s had to scratch, claw and fight for everything I’ve earned and been given. I am so blessed to be here and so honored to be able to share my story with you, so from the bottom of my heart, thank you so much for the opportunity to share a little bit of my life, my journey and my story with you. As I was thinking about what to write for my 100th post, I got to thinking about several bloggers I follow who have hit “post milestones” and decided I would re-post something I wrote a couple of months ago. For those of you who found a seat on the bus when I made my first stop, I’d like to invite you to stick around for a little while longer because the journey’s going to get a lot more interesting and a LOT more fun!!! For those of you I picked up recently, maybe you’re asking yourself if you’re making a good decision by climbing aboard. Just relax, read about my journey so far, and hey, why not answer the poll question and ask me anything you want? I want to make the ride as comfy, cozy as I can for you. By the way, don’t worry, I won’t bite ;-)

Whenever I am out in public, it seems like at least one person comes up to me and asks me why I am in a wheelchair. I try to explain my disability to them the best way I can, but still know there are so many questions that go unasked, and more often than not, unanswered.

I want to hear your questions about spina bifida. Do you understand the disability? What could I help you understand better? I want everyone to understand my disability the best they can, so I am giving everyone reading this the opportunity to ask me ANYTHING about spina bifida and its impact on my life. Do not be scared to ask me questions. I have nothing to hide, and anything is fair game. I’m perfectly okay answering personal questions… in fact I truly welcome personal questions. It may help me understand my disability better so I am better able to explain it to others in the future.

What do you want to know?

Please go to his blog and leave your comments or leave them here and I will send them to him..  Jason’s Spina Bifida Journey


Bipolar Life, Good Days? or Bad Days?

Just thought I should write a bit about how things are going for me at this time. As far as how I am feeling inside. 

Today feels like another good day. I hope I don’t eat those words later in the day! :)  We are all going to Carl’s house for dinner he is cooking for us.. Can’t wait. He is so cute, my youngest said to him when are you going to cook for us again I want your mashed potatoes and salad, that was over the weekend.  So last night when I went to leave his house he said. “hey do you all want to come for dinner tomorrow? Jessi said she wanted mashed potatoes and salad, so I thought tomorrow would be a good day.”  I said, “of course!”  He is a thoughtful guy. 

I have something to look forward to next week too. I am meeting two women I met on Twitter, Miriam and Pamela, as they are coming to town.  I’m super excited can’t wait to meet them. Miriam and I have the Bipolar children in common and her son’s name is Sam and my diagnosed daughter is named Samantha. We cracked up that they were both Sams as I call Samantha, Sami! Small world I’m telling you.  Pamela is just a super woman and I really have enjoyed our interactions, she is fun!  So looking forward to that next week. 

So I guess I should get to the real reason I’m writing this post.  I am feeling pretty good now.  

a peaceful pic of the sunset over the water


My mind has finally slowed down and my irritation level is lower than it has been, I’m still not organized but I think that’s just part of the illness.  I can only organize my thoughts so far then off they go. :)  I do not have the swirling tornado inside me now so that is a big relief.  My mother is moving three hours away so she won’t have any power to mess up any relationships and I can get a little distance without hurting her feelings. Big Relief! :)

I really am enjoying my time with the kids and with Carl. Next month we are going to visit his parents with him for a weekend, usually he goes alone but I am excited to be going with him and so are the kids. He is such a loving man, thoughtful and sensitive, it’s awesome. 

All in all I am doing well!! Now that might change later today or tomorrow or next week or a month I don’t know honestly but I can enjoy this time while it lasts.

I  want you all to know your support and kind words have really touched me and helped me to feel better, Thank You all! 

Every day do something that will inch you closer to a better tomorrow.
~Doug Firebaugh

Be not afraid of growing slowly; be afraid only of standing still.
~Chinese Proverb

Image: prozac1 /


Raising Confident Daughters??

I have come across an article that may be interesting to those of you who are raising daughters.  I wish I had read this article when my kids were younger, they could both use a dose of confidence… 

Please go check out the article, I would love a comment about what you thought.

Raising Confident Daughters:Q&A With Barb Steinberg  By MARGARITA TARTAKOVSKY, MS

Article via

I hope you find this article helpful and informative..

“Love yourself first and everything else falls into line.”  ~Lucille Ball~


Relationship with my Mom… Do I have to end it??

If you all read my post Family Drama and Unnecessary BS you know that I have some issues with my mother. She tends to bring negativity into my life and cause problems between me and other family members for fun.  She wants everyone to be there for her but no one else. 

Recently it came to my attention that she was lying to my father and my brother about me and the facts surrounding her gas bill on my credit card and other things. She is living on about $930.00 a month yet claims she paid off her gas bill of $2,000.00 twice this year and I used the money for something else and she is forced to continue paying on the bill.  Well to start she has never paid the bill I have each month. My income is also limited and I can’t afford to pay her bill.  The big deal with her doing this is that my dad helps me out sometimes when I am upside down on my bills.. If she comes between us he will stop helping me, which would force me to need to live with her.  Yep that’s what she is up to…

Anyway, I have just found out that she went back to where she used to live, about 3 hours away, to help a friend and she isn’t coming back.  She is moving back there.. Phew relief came over me.

Why am I relieved?? Because this means I don’t have to have a knock down drag out fight with her and eject her from my life.  She won’t be able to make issues for me that far away. I am able now to limit contact and she won’t be right in the middle of my life causing troubles. It was so hard when I had to remove her from my life before and I was not looking forward to having to hurt her that way again.  I know she is mentally ill and that’s why she does the crap she does but that doesn’t mean I can allow it to affect my life negatively.

I was so dreading the conflict that would happen when I tried to remove her from my immediate life. I do love her, she is my mother… I just wish she would admit her problems and go get help.  I know that isn’t ever going to happen I just hope her life settles down and she doesn’t have any more bad experiences like she has in the past.  Most of those bad experiences happened where she is now living but for some reason she is drawn to that area. I can’t explain it!

Your success and happiness lies in you.image of plumeria flower
Resolve to keep happy, and your joy and you shall form an invincible host against difficulties. 

~ Helen Keller~





Image: anat_tikker /


My Experience with New Health Insurance…

I am not whining tonight just wanted to update you guys, since I posted about having to get a new psychiatrist for my girls with the new  HMO health carrier (Health Management Organization).  There are two doctors to choose from, really 2 for this entire area??  

I was forced to go to a parent orientation at this HMO, it was a complete waste of time. Then I have to go back upstairs to turn in the huge stack of paperwork I had to fill out for each child. There, I am told the kids have to see a therapist first before they will set an appointment with a psychiatrist.  I said, “Oh no that’s not happening. My kids have been in treatment for years and need to see a psychiatrist and I cannot afford to spend money on therapy at this point.”

The nice woman behind the counter says, “Well I don”t make the rules.”  So I explained we really don’t fit into this system of theirs as the kids have been established in care for a long time, one of them over 10 years and they need to be seen by a psychiatrist and medications refilled.  So after some time repeating my self this nice woman said she would talk to the administrator. Walked away within range for me to see her and walks back and says she can put in a note to talk to the chief of pediatrics to see if they can make an exception.  She said they would be calling me in a week or so… I thanked her and walked away shaking my head.  I will not be forced to spend money to see a therapist when that’s not what we need. If its required they better waive the co pay!!  Good luck right… Hehe  Yesterday when I arrived home I called my ex and told him he better be ready to get on the phone with these people, since this was his choice he is going to get me what we need. He is all confused because he never listens to me.

Get this… Today he shows up with a print out of one of the two doctors we have to choose from and tells me this is how it works, you have to go in for an evaluation by a therapist. I said, “I can’t pay for a therapist and a psychiatrist and I need medication refilled.”  He got nasty and said I’m just trying to tell you how it works. I said, “I know how it works but it doesn’t fit our situation.” He argued and I said, “did they call you?”  He said, “NO!!”  That nasty tone was enough for me so I turned to walk away and he yells out, “Do you want to know about the prescriptions or are you just going to be a bitch!  Yep he said it… Needless to say my reaction was not pleasant.. I told him what I thought of him and went into the house.

Does he really think he can come to my house and talk to me like that… I have already discussed this with him and the insurance company yet he is a jerk to me.  He acts like I never spoke to him.  You know why?, because when I call him to discuss stuff he hands the phone off to his wife while im talking  and then when I need a response he takes the phone back… There are always long pauses and his responses are always general and sometimes don’t fit the conversation.  Sorry for this but What a dumb-ass! 

Anyway, I am now mad at him and waiting for the HMO to call me back about getting the kids to the type of doctor they need, and not jump through hoops.

I am not whining honestly this is just part of life but thought Maybe I would update you all about how its going… or not going! :)  I suggest if you have a choice of insurance carriers and you need specialized care of any type, don’t go with a HMO. It might be cheaper but you get what you pay for.  :)


One way to get the most out of life is
to look upon it as an adventure. ~William Feather

Image: Ambro /


10 Famous People With Bipolar Disorder, The Price of Fame?

I have looked around the internet for information on Bipolar Disorder and People with Bipolar to share with you all.  There are a lot of Creative people who have Bipolar whether it be Bipolar I or Bipolar II.  I wanted to share an article that just lists 10 well-known people who have Bipolar.  I liked this article found it interesting and thought you may also… 


10 Famous People With Bipolar Disorder

The Price of Fame? Image of Vincent Van Gogh


This article is from








Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.

Image via



I decided to take a suggestion from a friend at a site called A Band Of Wives, which I am a member of, and post some more inspirational thoughts. Today I decided to pull a few Saying and quotes and post a few pictures. Thanks Leila! 

The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart. ~ Helen Keller 

“All our dreams can come true – if we have the courage to pursue them.” ~Walt Disney~

Image of Inspirational stones

Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear.
~ James Neil Hollingworth

If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s,
we’d most likely run to grab ours back.
~ 90 yr old Regina Bennett

“Real happiness comes from inside. Nobody can give it to you.”
~Sharon Stone~

Image of Gateway to the past

Nothing is predestined: The obstacles of your past can become the gateways that lead to new beginnings.

Thank you for visiting today!! :D

Shauna xxx 

Image Tree in Snow Image: Marcus74id /

Image Inspirational stones Image: Photography by BJWOK /

Image Rushing River Image: Maggie Smith /

Image Couple Jumping Image: Tanatat /

Image Gateway to the past Image: prozac1 /


An Excellent Weekend

I have whined so much lately I thought I would share my weekend with you all… 

I had a great weekend. Saturday my oldest daughter went to her friend’s house for the day my youngest is at her dads for the weekend so I had alone time with Carl. A rare occasion! 

I got up in the morning and went for a hike/walk with Carl.. Then home to shower and get cleaned up hung out with Carl for an hour or so. We then went to a movie, Sherlock Holmes, not the usual movie I would watch but I really enjoyed the movie. Maybe because I was with Carl I don’t know! Before the movie we got a plate of food from our favorite place in the mall. We shared it so we sat and ate then we walked around until it was time to go into the movie. Got some popcorn and went in. 

I have had such a good time getting to know Carl. He really is a special guy! He is sweet to me and I love it! 

Today Sunday, my daughter and I went down to clean my dads house for him while he was out-of-town, so it would be clean for him when he returned. Did some laundry while we were there too!  Then we went by a Wing place, got some buffalo style chicken strips, took it home and pigged out! We laughed and joked around the entire day its was really an enjoyable day with her.  I love my girl she is such a special kid.  I can’t believe she is 16 already. :(  … :)

She had some homework to do so I went over to Carl’s and hung out with him. It’s so nice that he is beginning to open up more and tell me about his life.  He has been unsure if he should, I guess he has been out with some real insecure women in the past and has not been sure what to expect from me.  I feel that life is too short for insecurity and jealousy of someone’s past. His past has made him who he is now and I really enjoy him so that makes me thankful for his past experiences! 

It’s hard to imagine that through the 7 months of unstable moods and different energy he has not wavered in seeing me.  He accepts me for who I am and I the same with him. I worry when I’m not feeling well that it might be too much for him to take.  My swirling bipolar mind and my nonstop talking and rambling on doesn’t seem to bother him. He kind of seems to understand it!  

He told me when we started dating that he would wear on me in 6 months and I would get tired of him. Tonight I said, ” wow Carl it has been a really long 6 months, he looked at me perplexed… I said, “remember you said you would wear on me in 6 months but that hasn’t happened yet.” He responded, “yeah well if we spent anymore time together it would happen.” I was surprised and said to him, “why do you think that way?”  He says, “I just do.” so I let it be but I hate that he feels badly about himself.  He is a great guy! Funny thing is we spend time together every day I’m not sure we could spend more time together… lol

Oh by the way we have dated since September 2010! :)

In conclusion… I had a great weekend between the time spent with Carl and with my daughter. It was such a fun, simple, relaxing weekend. After the BS with my family it was great to really have a nice couple days. 


Supportive Online Friends

I am sitting here tonight reflecting on the last few months and the last few days. The people I have met online and the support I have received is astounding!  

Thank you Card

The last few days I have received some really thoughtful comments and I appreciate them! I have been a bit whiny the last few days, for that I am sorry! Seems there has been unnecessary BS popping up  in my life again, but you all have helped me to feel better!! The sweet comments and thoughtful expression on my blog has uplifted me, I want you all to know how much I appreciate it!! 

I hope if I can do anything to help uplift any of you,  you will drop by here or at the Website ( and make sure you let me know how I can help you.  I will do what I can! :)

Thank you all for your support and I will attempt to return the support to you all! 


I hope the New Year has started off great for you all! 



Image: digitalart /